Renee Zellweger’s Beauty Secrets Revealed

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You probably been dying to know the secret to Renee Zellweger’s glowing complexion and alabaster skin. Paint thinner and a power sander? Lemon juice and road rash? Hot rocks dipped in hydrochloric acid? Ooh, so close! The Daily Mail reveals

Before every premiere, the 38-year-old actress undergoes a three-hour process designed to rid her skin of blemishes and keep her looking young and fresh. A special oxygen and milk facemask is applied and the face covered in two layers of clingfilm. When it is removed an oxygen spray containing vitamins is sprayed on the face and neck. Then comes the hour-long “sandblasting”, or microdermabuffing — aluminium oxide crystals are sprayed on to the face to reduce age spots and sun damage, and smooth out fine lines and wrinkles. The treatment is so harsh that she must avoid sunlight or wearing makeup for six hours afterwards.

Something about her face in these pictures just screams “chappy sea salt” and “burn victim.” And let me tell you, it’s pretty hard to scream at burn victims. Especially if they’re blind. Or covered with sea salt. It just feels wrong.

Chappy at the Bee Movie premiere last week:

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10 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Thank god she got out before Jim Carrey ruined her completely!!! *shivers*

  2. Her face looks like a parade float

  3. Those are the lips of someone who sailed the Spanish Main. Without chapstick.

  4. now everyone knows what NOT to do… her face is scary

  5. Happy Halloween. Whoops– that wasn’t a Halloween mask.

  6. wouldn’t it just be easier to adopt a daily routine?
    i always wondered why she always looked windburned. always thought she was weird looking, anyway.

    mmmm. sea salt! somebody pass those chips, will ya?

  7. joyNo Gravatar

    She might look halfway decent if it weren’t for that god awful hair.

  8. WOW…DAMN SHE LOOKS LIKE A FRICKEN MAN!

    http://misstrendy.org/miss_trendy.html

  9. She looks like a lady real estate shark from Ventura County.
    “Ive found the PER-fect home for you! It’s a darling bungalow behind an oil derrick shop…”

  10. RCNo Gravatar

    aluminum oxide exposure has been linked to alzheimers. just saying, soon she might have an excuse for batty outfits, she keeps this up…

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