Sarah Jessica Parker, World’s Unsexiest Woman

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While I find their periodical the literary equivalent of Jeremy Piven waving around a turd on a stick, Maxim magazine is gracing us with a list of the World’s Unsexiest Women in their next month’s issue. Rounding out the top five are Britney Spears (#5), Madonna (#4), Sandra Oh (#3), Amy Winehouse (#2) and Sarah Jessica Parker. Notice anything curious about their list? Britney Spears is number five. SJP might have a horseface and a mole you could land a chopper on, but I’d still have sex with her before I’d get anywhere near Britney’s bologna casserole. I would also have sex with hobo or a hot curling iron before Britney, so… Catch-22. I think the real question here is ‘Would you have sex with Jeremy Piven?‘ And the answer to that is “I’d rather stuff my vagina full of dynamite and head for that big mattress in the sky.” Money, baby!

SJP filming in Central Park last week:

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11 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. DiamondSal

    She should remove the moles and cut her hair and make it a soft-shining brown, tone down the raccoon eye makeup, wear more blush and add about twenty pounds.

  2. abby

    Or get that jizz out of the corner of her mouth. Or mayonnaise or whatever the hell it is. It’s just gross.

  3. Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver

    Looks like she didn’t wipe after we were done.

  4. Malcom

    she is just plain nasty!!!!

    http://www.spymac.com/details/?2290046

  5. MaliceAlice

    Sandra Oh?!! What the fuck? I think she’s awesome and kind of sexy in an asian way. She certainly doesn’t belong on this list. I agree with everyone else (including that BS should be higher up) but come on! Just because she’s an ice princess, she’s unsexy? Bull shit.

  6. Mr. Poop

    These are also the same people who voted LINDSAY BLOHAN as the “sexiest” woman too right? Pfftt..Maxim’s credibility was thrown out the fuckin window they came up with that fuckin list too.

  7. Axeldee

    HELL YEAH…SHE IS VERY SEXXXY TO ME!

    http://misstrendy.org/miss_trendy.html

  8. jen

    What in the hell is wrong with Sandra Oh??? She’s hilarious on Grey’s and I thought she was hot in Sideways. And how did Lindsay Lohan escape the list?

  9. eeks

    Sandra is not pretty, totally, but Maxim SUCKS. What a fucking AWFUL list. And Madonna? Please. She’s not #1 but she’s sexy. So is SJP in her own way. Maxim is insulting I hope they go down in flames.

  10. Who Gives A Crapola

    Ummm yeah. I’d love to see the mugs of the losers who created this list.

  11. Dap

    Not sexy.

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