Christina Aguilera is pregnant! Shocking, I know. All this time you thought she had some kind of abdominal distension from huge undescended testicles. People Magazine reports

Christina Aguilera has now formally confirmed the already widely-reported observation that she is expecting a baby. In an interview with Glamour magazine, the 26-year-old singer-songwriter says that she will “enter into mommyhood” next year.

You know, I’m going to take this whole celebrity “not acknowledging the obvious” and really run with it. Like, walk into a room with the crotch of my pants soaked and leaving a little liquid trail and then act like nothing’s amiss. Just totally indifferent, maybe even do a cartwheel or something, and then be like, “what?” And when someone finally says, “Uh, Abby… I think you pissed your pants,” I’ll just give them a cold stare and “Maybe you just pissed your pants. Did you ever think of that?” Then I’ll turn up the television really loud and pretend I can’t hear them. I plan on debuting my new celebrity approach to uncomfortable questions at the hearing tomorrow. When the judge asks how do I plead, I’ll just soak my pants and pretend I’m watching television. Let’s see you find your way around that, Duval County Circuit Court! Bam! Christina Aguilera and Jennifer Lopez aren’t the only masters of strategy around here, you know.

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