Dear God NO
Tags: sex tape, Spencer Pratt

Because it’s your fault I’m awake before lunchtime — again — I’d like to be the first to offer you a big bowl of Spencer Pratt Genital PieTM. The National Enquirer reports
An inside source [claims] Spencer’s actually got a sex tape of his own that shows him and a few buddies exploring the, er… hills and valleys of some smokin’ hot Brazilian babes! The alleged Samba Land group grope was lensed way before [he] became betrothed [to Hills co-star Heidi Montag], but the source says Spencer showed the tape to a Hollywood video editor and repeatedly asked him to spruce it up – saying he might secretly release it into the marketplace while claiming it was “stolen,” a la Paris Hilton, Pam Anderson, etc.
Hot, if your idea of sexy is watching a prairie dog trying to mount two full-grown gazelles while mugging shamelessly for the camera. There’s nothing sexier than watching a WASP-y high school junior rutting all over a couple of ethnic girls twice his size. He is still in high school, right? You usually stop making that face up there once you hit college. Also, adult males tend to develop facial hair and something I like to call “testicles.” What’s Portuguese for “Where are his balls?” and “Why is his skin like a hairless cat’s?” Ten to one says you find out in the first five minutes of the tape!
Spencer and Heidi in their super lame costumes:

5 Comments, Comment or Ping
Monarhu
Do you know where I can find that tape? Haha ha http://www.spymac.com/details?2295014
Nov 8th, 2007
abby
Probably the seventh circle of hell. Or Wal-Mart.
Nov 8th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
I found it at the 99-cent store if you are still interested in finding one. BTW, it was on sale for half-price.
Nov 8th, 2007
Simone
What’s Portuguese for “Where are his balls?” and “Why is his skin like a hairless cat’s?o
“Where are his balls? = aonde estão as bolas dele
Why is his skin like a hairless cat’s = por que a pele dele é como a de um gato sem pelo
Nov 8th, 2007
simon
Who is Spencer Pratt? Is he famous?
Nov 9th, 2007
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