A day before Britney Spears was scheduled to start filming her new video “Pieces of Me,” Tubsy inexplicably pulled the plug and canceled the shoot. According to OK! Magazine

The reason given for the abrupt change in plans? Brit’s failed drug test and her [court] date this Friday, when the video been scheduled to be filmed. Almost as if they had seen into the future, the video’s production team had been preparing for Brit’s absence from rehearsals, seeking out a body double to stand in for the troubled singer during rehearsals — and possibly during portions of the actual shoot itself. However, it appears that even these precautions weren’t enough to keep the video moving forward.

I’d say removing Britney from the entire process is about the only way to salvage the video. The directors need to go ahead and do the shoot without her, and then when she actually shows up to film the following week, they could just pretend the cameras are rolling and replace her footage with the stand-in’s instead. Problem solved, and Britney would never be the wiser. She could thrash around in a miniskirt like an injured pelican and waddle around the stripper pole while the directors exchange knowing winks and yell “Work it, baby! Own it! Yeah, yeah… oh, that’s sexy! Okay, maybe this next take you put down the cookies and the two-liter?” That way she can deliberately stuff in another Oreo, hand on her hip, and spit out “It’s Britney, bitch! I’m the fuckin’ boss here!” amidst a staccato spray of soggy cookie crumbs with every hard consonant. You know, to make her feel like she’s in charge and everything. And when the final cut with the stand-in’s footage is presented to her, she can say “Eee? I uckin toh oo eh wah exxy! Uhh! Eh Rit-ee, itch!” and cram another fistful of Oreos in her mouth with the triumphant authority that comes with being completely oblivious.

Britney running over a paparazzo’s foot (video above, stills here):