Lindsay Serves 84 Effing Minutes
Tags: jail, Lindsay Lohan
Once again, I give you American justice at its finest: Lindsay Lohan served a grand total of 84 minutes in jail for her TWO separate DUI convictions yesterday. Yeah. You smell that, Lady Liberty? It’s the stink of Hollywood debauchery and Marlboro Lights.* People Magazine reports
Although the actress, 21, was sentenced to four days in jail for her second DUI conviction, prosecutors agreed she could serve 10 days of community service in lieu of two days behind bars. Lohan was also given credit for one day served from her July arrest, leaving only 24 hours she had to serve. She turned herself in at 10:30 a.m. and was released at 11:54 a.m. [The sheriff's spokesman] also confirmed that Lohan was strip searched as part of routine jail procedure.
I can’t even take joy at the strip search part of it, because knowing Lindsay Lohan, she fucking loved the whole bit. Preening and prancing around naked so that all the guards could get a good eyeful on the surveillance tapes. I can’t imagine this would be the first time a woman has rummaged around in her pooper, either. Now if they had used something good for the strip search, like stinging nettles or sandpaper or a black guy’s wiener, then maybe the paltry 84 minutes in the pokey would have actually meant something. But as it is, it just sounds like another regular night out for LaLohan. Naked with a stranger elbow-deep in your ass. All that’s missing is the cocaine and the expensive car.
*Also known as Cavallo del FuocoTM, Lindsay’s soon-to-be released debut fragrance! A stunning blend of South African marigold, nicotine and ball sweat, accented with subtle heart notes of vetiver and Astroglide. A must-have for Christmas 2007! Available at Sears and other fine retailers.
UPDATE: Now with mug shut!
Lindsay at Il Sole on Wednesday:
16 Comments, Comment or Ping
yapiro
she looks crazy like alwais…
Nov 16th, 2007
abby
I can see the firecrotch in her eyes.
Nov 16th, 2007
RichPort
I thought that said she served 84 effin inmates.
Nov 16th, 2007
BarbadoSlim
WOO HOO, You’re all clear kid now let’s blow this thing and go home!
*remember…
Nov 16th, 2007
marius
she shot 84 motherfuckers like you richport
Nov 16th, 2007
RichPort
marius, I missed sticking a broomstick up your ass! How the hell are are? And of course by that I mean go fuck yourself.
Nov 16th, 2007
Butch
This photo of her bugs the holy hell out of me. She looks like, “who, me??”
Nov 16th, 2007
MetaBoy
Abby…..Your such a F’K”in IDIOT! Cant you leave this poor Hot Honey Alone!
Your just GELLOUS you Negga loving bichhhh.
Nov 16th, 2007
Gweilo
“84 effin inmates” I’m liking that one, RichPort.
Nov 16th, 2007
bionic bunny
*sigh*
so much for old home week.
abby, nice turn of the phrase “pokey”. or was that just me?
Nov 16th, 2007
marius
go shoot yourself in the ass
Nov 16th, 2007
bionic bunny
aww, thanks, sweetpea! nice to know you care!
Nov 16th, 2007
agita
Looks like her face finally caught up
Nov 17th, 2007
Meeee
I feel sorry for her. She is pretty and so young…
Nov 17th, 2007
TheLostGirl
Hmmm, I might go and commit me some crimes too. See how many MINUTES i get in jail!
Nov 17th, 2007
CruisingforCock
MetaBoy is excellent at the spelling.
RichPort, LOL, Effing inmates.
Nov 17th, 2007
Reply to “Lindsay Serves 84 Effing Minutes”