Madonna’s Hirsute Offspring
Tags: lourdes, Madonna
Madonna’s daughter Lourdes attended the London premiere of “Fred Claus” yesterday. Something about her face seemed a bit “off” to me, if you know what I mean. So I walked up to her and said, “My, Lourdes, what big eyebrows you have!” She replied, “All the better to see you with.” Then I notced her mouth and exclaimed, “But Lourdes… what big teeth you have!” to which she replied, “All the better to smile at you with.” Then it occured to me what was amiss, and I squatted down and poked a deliberate finger in her chest and said coldly “And my, Lourdes (poke) — if that is your real name (poke) — what a big moustache you have (poke poke poke)!” Then I wrestled her into a headlock and did my damndest to rip off the mask and reveal her Big Bad Wolfiness. Unfotunately, that’s about the time security decided to taser me instead instead of giving me a shotgun like the hunter in “Little Red Riding Hood.” It would seem the police aren’t the literary buffs you’d assume, because they acted like they’d never heard of it. Well, if they’re comfortable with a 200 pound wolf masquerading as a little girl wandering through a theater packed with children, it’s their funeral, not mine. No wolf’s gonna be eating me while I’m safe inside the holding cell. That’s why the say knowledge is power. Take a look — it’s in a book – Reading Rainbow! Also power: a 50,000-volt taser from three yards. But apples and oranges, really. Spine-searing, fire-breathing, thunderbolt-of-Zeus apples and oranges. There’s really no comparison.
Various pictures of Lourdes with her famiy:
20 Comments, Comment or Ping
cruising4c@work
Abby, how did you get pictures of me (and/or Stallion) from 6th grade? I want to know, now.
Nov 20th, 2007
yapiro
she is cute…
Nov 20th, 2007
RichPort
Why do Italian men grow mustaches?
So they can look like their mothers!
(runs away from C4C laughing maniacally)
Nov 20th, 2007
RichPort
If my kid had buck teeth like that, I’d use him to open my beers.
Nov 20th, 2007
Dragulf
Dirty mouth? Try Orbitz!
Nov 20th, 2007
Italian Stallion
Fuck you Cruising!!
WTF? It looks like she styles those things with moose or something. Can you imagine what her thunder from down under looks like?
At least she’s not black like that little niglet Madonna adopted…………
Nov 20th, 2007
Gingerly
So Madonna would rather buy a purple dildo than tweeze her daughters face…something tells me her priorities are off…
Nov 20th, 2007
p0nk
the next Gillette ‘Young Gun’.
Nov 20th, 2007
RichPort
Oddly, I feel at home here. But that’s probably because my mother braids her goatee.
Nov 20th, 2007
cruising4c@work
RichPort, you wax your eyebrows right? Tell Stallion that it’s completely manly.
Nov 20th, 2007
RichPort
Nah, that would make him feel funny about looking like a muppet. I wax my palms. Don’t ask.
Nov 20th, 2007
OpenYourEyes!
Does anyone remember the cover of “True Blue? Side view of Madonna was quite fuzzy.
Nov 20th, 2007
bionic bunny
i got nuthin. unfortunately, now i keep seeing stallion in borat’s swimsuit. now i have to wash my brain out with bleach. or tequila.
Nov 20th, 2007
Butch
well. in madonna’s nudie pics from back in the day she had the big black bush. The kid comes by it honestly I guess. And, Madge really wanted that part in the Frida Kahlo movie that Salma ended up getting…she got something better…instead of playing a unibrowed mexican, she owns one. Hell I don’t have a pot to piss in and I managed to get my kid braces. Get thee to thine orthodontist. although, they are veddy veddy british now and maybe want the teef to go with.
Nov 20th, 2007
JMc
singing —- “Like a Virgin, not gonna be touched for a very long time”
Nov 20th, 2007
nojustno
she is a kid yes, but I thought Madonna was all about being and having everything perfect around her?…this is cruel to let her daughter go out looking like the Wolf Man.
Nov 20th, 2007
AC
i feel bad for her. Madonna should help her out and let her get waxed. She’s such a pretty girl.
Nov 20th, 2007
a mother
Why is she humiliating her daughter? She is wearing lipstick, so why not take care of the other two facial problems before the whole world sees. Oh, because it’s ALL about them.
Nov 21st, 2007
Spelling Bee
You mean HIRSUTE. The word is spelled HIRSUTE. Get it right, dumbass
Nov 24th, 2007
Spelling Bee
but anyway, in madonna’s nude photo spread she had major pit carpets too. she’s into the body hair so she must think her daughter is sexy or something….I’d bang the kid tho. Hard. Like, right now.
Nov 24th, 2007
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