Tara Reid Smells Like a Homeless Vet
Tags: tara reid
If you’ve always wanted to know what Tara Reid smells like, you’ve come to the right place, my friend. Here’s a hint: it ain’t self-esteem! According to Rush & Molloy
Don’t look for Tara Reid on another episode of “Scrubs.” Appearing at the New York Comedy Festival, show creator Bill Lawrence said Reid was his least favorite guest star – “not because she wasn’t a nice person,” but because she allegedly stank of booze and smokes. (Reid’s rep didn’t return an e-mail.)
Just booze and smokes, huh? No mention of ball sweat and desperation? Strange. Well, if you want to imbibe the heady scent of Tara Reid for yourself but don’t live in L.A., you could try this handy alternative: lure a couple of homeless winos and some former teenage runaways turned prostitutes into a tiny, poorly-ventilated room, then crank up the heat while making them do jumping jacks and mountain climbers. Make sure they all have lit cigarettes and a couple of bottles of Thunderbird. It’s fine if a couple throw up or use the corner as a toilet — it just adds to the authenticity. Now lock them in said room for three days to allow the subtler notes to ferment, open the door and mist with Britney Spears’ Curious and voilà! — Tara Reid. The only difference is the smell won’t sleep with you.
Tara stinkin’ up The Ivy November 23rd:
8 Comments, Comment or Ping
Dragulf
I’m shocked! I was sure she smelled like old condoms…
Nov 26th, 2007
Sorceressss
In the least shocking news of the year….
Nov 26th, 2007
abby
It’s just nice to have it recorded for posterity in print, you know? That way, when Tara Reid tries to tell you she doesn’t stink, you’ll at least have an article to reference. It’s important to back up your arguments with facts. Also swears and racial slurs.
Nov 26th, 2007
open mouth jones
guess the odor de’ liquor overwhelmed the stench of lube and latex.
Nov 26th, 2007
Italian Stallion
She’s coming out with a new fragrance. Alcotine?
Nov 26th, 2007
Sorceressss
“It’s important to back up your arguments with facts. Also swears and racial slurs”
That’s fucking brilliant Abby.
Nov 26th, 2007
dillthedevil
Italian Stallion – I can see the TV adverts for that one now. High-contrast black and white photography. A camera gradually approaching an open dumpster in a particularly decrepit alley. Gradually, we’re able to see Tara Reid slumped in amongst the rubbish bags, cardboard boxes and takeaway containers, a cigarette in one hand, a bottle of cheap wine in the other, and her panties around her ankles. A voice-over says: “Alcotine: the smell of failure. Brought to you by Tara Reid.”
Nov 27th, 2007
Vicente Amini
Hot Tape with Tara Reid here:
http://naked-tara-reid.blogspot.com/?id=4846027&s=y
don’t loose!!!!
Oct 5th, 2009
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