A Very Lohan Thanksgiving
Tags: Lindsay Lohan, Riley Giles
How do you celebrate Thanksgiving à la Lohan? Why, by dragging your new boyfriend up for a weekend of group therapy and ignoring you. Just like the Native Americans did all those years ago! Page Six reports
“The Lohan family [sister Ali, 13, mother Dina and father Michael] sat down for a therapy session in Manhattan together [on Thanksgiving],” said our source. Younger brother Dakota, 11, was allowed to skip the session.
Lindsay’s latest fling, fellow ‘habber Riley Giles, spent the holiday weekend partying in the city without his girlfriend. While [Lohan] spent Friday and Saturday shopping with her mom and sister, her new boyfriend slept late on Saturday, having partied the night before at Pink Elephant.
Even sober Lindsay Lohan can’t find a guy who wants anything to do with her outside her vagina. If it doesn’t involve a) boobs, b) boobs, or c) anal, there’s no viable reason to spend any time with her. At least before rehab, hanging out with Lindsay meant tons of free blow and vodka. Now it’s all “equine-therapy” and “authenticated self-actuation” and “gentle sobbing.” Bleh. Riley could just pay a therapist to watch him jerk off and avoid the middle-man* altogether.
*Lindsay Lohan’s mom
Lindsay at the Marmalade Cafe in Malibu yesterday:
8 Comments, Comment or Ping
agita
A regular Norman rockwell t-day. that is if Norman was a turkey like Lilo
Nov 27th, 2007
p0nk
“If it doesn’t involve a) boobs, b) boobs, or c) anal, there’s no viable reason to spend any time with her.”
You forgot d) money.
Nov 27th, 2007
Dragulf
He is only 11 so he isn’t messed up yet…
LiLo’s bf sleeps with her mom? What does he care, he’s getting some!
Nov 27th, 2007
abby
I hear LaLohan is hard up for cash, so I just stuck with boobs and anal. She hasn’t had a hit since “Mean Girls” and her rehab was like twenty five grand every go-round. Not to mention cocaine is freakin expensive. That’s why I steal. Wait, what were we talking about?
Nov 27th, 2007
p0nk
wait… if LiLo is out of money, why is her mom still hanging with her?
Nov 27th, 2007
open mouth jones
Because she’s under the impression she can still wring a few drops of blood out of that hole, errm, I mean, stone.
Nov 27th, 2007
p0nk
k, because i was left worrying that she was just after LiLo’s hand-me-down boy toys and that would just be wrong.
Nov 27th, 2007
Otto the Short Yellow Bus Driver
boy toys are always an option when you share clothes, money, drugs and partners- doesn’t always have to be a boy toy either. besides, the lohan’s escort rates vary from per night, per event or per month, so there is always some type of income to get the party going.
Nov 27th, 2007
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