Get ready to replace that Paris Hilton CD you’re always crankin’ in the car with the latest studio release from Lindsay Lohan. Female First reports

Lindsay Lohan is set to record a new album – tentatively titled ‘Nobody’s Angel’ – because she is under contract to Universal Music Group. A music insider [said]: “She is only recording another album because of a contractual obligation to Universal.” However, one of Lindsay’s employees insists the star is looking forward to returning to the recording studio, saying: “Lindsay always planned to release a third album.”

The only thing that could make a Lindsay Lohan album any better? A drunk Lindsay Lohan! According to Gatecrasher

“[Lindsay] has been drinking a little bit,” a pal tells us. “Over her week in New York, she did have a few drinks.” A separate source tells us that she had at least one big fight with her Utah beau, Riley Giles, who joined the Lohan family for the holiday. But the first source says Lindsay’s alcohol intake was in moderation. “For Lindsay, her real problem was drugs, not alcohol,” says the friend. “The drug use was way more intense than her party drinking. As long as she isn’t doing drugs, she’s okay.”

If anything could drive me to start drinking again, it’d be the realization that I’m having intercourse with some faggy Brandon Davis look-a-like snowboarder. Snowboarding ranks somewhere in between “Double Dutch Champion” and “Greenbrier Mall Arcade Manager” on the scale of “Jobs That by Their Very Nature Squelch Any Possibility of Quality Tail,” or JTBTVNSAPQT as it’s commonly referred to in The Wall Street Journal. I’m still not entirely sure what this “NASDAQ” they’re always referencing stands for, but you can bet your sweet bippy that if it has something to do with snowboarding, the S and D stand for “super duper” and that last Q means “queer.”

Lindsay in an equally faggy hat: