Heath Ledger Brokebacks Lindsay Lohan
Tags: heath ledger, Lindsay Lohan
You didn’t actually think that Lindsay Lohan could let her vagina lay dormant for more than sixteen hours, did you? Now that Riley Giles is outta the picture, she needed someone new to fill that void he left behind — literally. (Get it? It was a vagina joke. You know — void, hole… vagina. Okay, whatever. My genius is fucking wasted on you. Pearls before swine. No, wait — pearl necklace before swine. Huh? Look, I’m throwing you a bone here, people! Work with me!) Anyway, the latest jerkoff to hop on board the Firecrotch Express is none other than “Brokeback Mountain” actor Heath Ledger. Radar Online says
Lindsay Lohan [is] the latest post-Michelle Williams conquest for actual actor Heath Ledger — according to a source, the recently-rehabbed starlet… texted Ledger for a furtive rendezvous while the two were in New York over Thanksgiving weekend.
Sadly, this is somehow an improvement for both. Michelle Williams was a dumpy troll with a mongoloid countenance1 and Riley Giles was pretty much Brandon Davis without any of the charm2. It’s kinda like getting Hepatitis C for Christmas instead of Hepatitis A, or a your mom’s old three-speed instead of the rusted out Radio Flyer. You don’t really know whether to say “thank you” or just throw up a little in your own mouth.
1That means “she looks retarded,” for those of you who didn’t get the first vagina joke
2Guinea charm
Lindsay courtside at a Laker’s game and Heather as the Joker in the new Batman movie:
11 Comments, Comment or Ping
p0nk
the relationship will last as long as it takes her to snort the makeup off his face.
Dec 4th, 2007
Gingerly
If he can kiss a guy, he can kiss a flaming, biting, screaming vagina.
Dec 4th, 2007
abby
I heard it bit and that you should let it smell your hand first to see if it likes you. Also never look it directly in the eye.
Dec 4th, 2007
abby
Editor’s note: That “guinea charm” bit was a Godfather reference, for the oncoming onslaught of racist accusations. I’m just putting it out there now so no one has to get all huffy in their PC pants for no good reason.
Dec 4th, 2007
supes
The next Batman movie is going to be awesome.
Dec 4th, 2007
open mouth jones
Somewhere in the bloggosphere a little boy named marius is weeping all over his mean girls sheets.
Lindsay and Heath, on the other hand, are discussing the merits of bleach vs. ammonia based “down there hair” care products.
Dec 4th, 2007
Dragulf
There is a reason Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis called her a fire crotch. She made his penis red hot.
Dec 4th, 2007
bionic bunny
i’m going to guess the make-up is POST-coital since it looks more killer klown than jokerish.
or maybe i’m a little slow after banging my head repeatedly against the wall trying to find a copy of that damned “guitar hero 3″ thing. or the 7 shots of tequia i just had. either way.
Dec 4th, 2007
agita
Post coital makeup? Can you get that on QVC? Heath resembles Cameron Diaz in that picture
Dec 5th, 2007
p0nk
Cameron Diaz!!! bwahahaha
Dec 5th, 2007
Jimmy
Not only they had wild sex over Thanksgiving weekend, other hotel patrons had to call the front desk to complain about the noise that they are making from screaming and yelling from orgasmic noise that is coming from their hotel room and it lasted for at least 7-8 hours well into the wee hours which angered many guests. Michelle Williams father Larry had confirmed that H. Ledger had split. Lindsay are know to had 17 boyfriends so this one will probably not last and she had admitted that this is a purely for fun.
Dec 9th, 2007
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