Jessica Simpson’s Boobs Want Respect
Tags: Jessica Simpson, nudity
Jessica Simpson wants to earn your respect the old-fashioned way — by getting totally naked on the big screen. Remember how well it worked for Elizabeth Berkley? Female First says:
“Jessica is in the running for a role that, if she gets it, will put her right on the map in terms of acting. The only hitch is that the script requires a number of quite graphic scenes including a full-frontal nude scene. Jessica is so desperate to land the role and get the industry’s respect that she’s ready to go against her better judgement, and her family, by agreeing to bare all.”
Jessica’s… most recent film ‘Blonde Ambition’ [failed] to gain a cinema release and [is] being branded a “disaster”.
I find there’s no better way to earn the respect of your peers than showing your tits. It’s fool-proof. So I can’t parallel park. Look! Tits! So I never actually finished college. Boobs! Get your boobs here! And maybe I had a Vulcan Koon-ut-kal-if-fee Marr ceremony instead of an actual wedding and maybe I moonlight as third level Dwarf Paladin and I might have once spent 36 consecutive hours suspended by my underwear inside a middle school locker, but BOOBS! See, it’s a lock! The only way you could possibly respect me any more right now is if I ran a Sicilian mob or had a top hat and a British accent.
Jessica not totally naked and therefore NOT garnering my respect this weekend:
5 Comments, Comment or Ping
open mouth jones
I’m taking bets for what amount of time she spends in the ‘film’ Blonde Ambition with her mouth gaping wide open, silently begging random people passing by to ’stick something, anything’ in her maw of death.
Dec 11th, 2007
Gingerly
And I suppose her vagina wants to be taken seriously as a body part and not just a cum receptical.
Dec 11th, 2007
p0nk
remember when she had an opportunity to make a mint posing for playboy? either do i.
Dec 11th, 2007
abby
I still don’t quite understand why everyone makes such a big deal about some actress getting naked for a movie. So fucking what? With the click of a mouse, you can see a never-ending stream of naked women. One more moderately attractive generic blond’s rack thrown in the mix really doesn’t make a dent in the cosmic sense. By “cosmic” I of course mean “masturbatory.” What did you think I meant?
Dec 11th, 2007
agita
I didn’t know she was in Madame Tussauds!
Dec 12th, 2007
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