Jessica Alba is Pregnant
Tags: Jessica Alba, pregnant
Jessica Alba is knocked up with boyfriend Cash Warren’s baby. According to People magazine
“I can confirm that Jessica and Cash are expecting a baby in late spring, early summer,” says rep Brad Cafarelli. Alba, 26, has dated Warren, 28, since the fall of 2004 after they met on the set of The Fantastic Four, on which Warren was a director’s assistant.
I hope somebody grabbed her by the shoulders and slapped her across the face. Hard. Do you realize what you’ve done? You have no other marketable talent other than being hot. None. You make Balky from “Perfect Strangers” seem like Anthony fucking Hopkins in comparison. You wouldn’t inflate a Picasso and rake it over with stretch marks and chapped nipples, would you? Well, it’s precisely the same reason you shouldn’t get knocked up right in the middle of your prime. I hope there was at least a good reason behind all this, like you wanted your boyfriend to propose or you could use the tax credit for drugs or you’re going to need kidney later on down the road. Otherwise, I’m afraid this is just career suicide.
Jessica and the baby daddy mattress shopping this weekend:
11 Comments, Comment or Ping
Dragulf
So does that mean her kid will be born with herpes too?
Dec 12th, 2007
supes
Possibly. Born without talent? Definitely.
Dec 12th, 2007
agita
Can’t wait for the Albatross pics
Dec 12th, 2007
abby
Albatross! Well-done!
Dec 12th, 2007
p0nk
If the baby looks like Derek Jeter it will be hard to sell on the black market.
Dec 12th, 2007
Dragulf
Her acting in AWAKE put people to sleep. So I hear…
Dec 12th, 2007
syd
She’s an actress? I thought she was a professional POA.
Dec 12th, 2007
open mouth jones
I thought she was making fun of all the other mexican chicks for popping out babies? But it’s OK for her because she’s what? An Act-or? Sure thing.
The only good thing that will come out of this are a few months of extra large boobers, and then it all down hill from there.
Dec 12th, 2007
bionic bunny
stupid, stupid girl.
Dec 12th, 2007
TheLostGirl
I smell something fishy about this story, but maybe I am being synical. Good luck to them, if this is true.
Dec 12th, 2007
Claire
The sad thing is I just realized, as I read this post, that that is the subconscious reaction I had to the news. I usually react to celebrity pregnancies with some mild inner smile of “oh how nice and exciting for them a family yay,” but with Jessica I just felt like … “what is she doing that for?” And now of course, I realize why I couldn’t comprehend her wanting to have a child. A tad self-destructive.
Dec 13th, 2007
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