Britney Spears, who has managed to dodge deposition four times in the past year, was of course far too afflicted to show up in court yesterday like she was supposed to. People magazine reports

Britney Spears was unable to attend her court-ordered deposition Wednesday morning due to an illness, a lawyer for Kevin Federline announced. Spears’ friend Sam Lufti [said] in an e-mail: “She’s sick, both physically and high anxiety. Millions of press outside. It’s too much.”

But Britney made a miraculous recovery later that same evening, and TMZ got it all on film:

Britney Spears claims she was too sick to go to her deposition yesterday — but she looked just fine… driving around until 2 o’clock in the morning! Cameras caught the popwreck and an assistant leaving… the Four Seasons for a gas station last night. After filling up her tank at the 76, she then hit up yet another gas station on Sunset — and drove off without her assistant! Oopsies!

Typically, the only time you recover from an illness that quickly is after being IV’d antibiotics or having your stomach pumped, but you must never underestimate the healing powers of cigarettes and semen. Most of the girls in my freshman dorm would have never made it past second semester but for the magic elixir of spunk and stale tobacco. It’s like the healing crystals of Madagascar, only smellier and harder to wash out of your hair.

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