Eva Longoria is a Spitter

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It would seem that sex with Eva Longoria is fairly milquetoast, because newlywed husband Tony Parker has reportedly been cheating on her with a French model who doesn’t mind doing a little swallowing. According to Female First

Alexandra Paressant - who claims she met the 25-year-old basketball player at his wedding to the ‘Desperate Housewives’ actress in July - alleges she met Parker for sex at Paris’ Park Hyatt Hotel on September 29. Paressant told X17 Online: “He said that Eva, sexually speaking, does not want to do certain things. She does not want to make love in front of a mirror, does not like certain positions and thinks that sperm gives you acne.”

In her defense, maybe it’s Tony who’s the problem, not her. So Eva doesn’t like “certain positions?” Well, everyone knows that the French really only know two positions in the first place — “on their backs under a white flag” and “cheeks spread, begging the Germans to be gentle.” I’m sure it’s hard to orgasm with your partner sniveling and cowering and asking if it’s safe to come out now.

Eva at the Bambi Awards in Dusseldorf last month:

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7 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. see, and if spank it to pictures of her, in my mind she’s saying, “yeh baby, all over my face” and I happily oblige. Eva and I have an awesome sex life.

  2. Richport would know, i’ve seen pictures of her going down on him.

  3. I have pictures of her powerwashing my deck. It might actually be one of her immigrant cousins.

  4. abby, there’s no way in hell a lawn gnome like eva could hold onto a powerwasher.

  5. No wonder this bitch is so skinny, she’s missing out on tons of calories. I bet if she had some Italian sausage she would want some sauce with it………

  6. How else can she bake up a quiche?

  7. Parker just has to tell her jizz makes you grow tall. On an unrelated topic, I’m 6′3″, Eva is 4′11″.

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