Tom Cruise Still Not Gay, Says Katie
Tags: Gay, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise
Katie “Kate” Holmes wants you to know that husband Tom Cruise finds her attractive in a completely heterosexual manner. According to the NY DailyNews
Katie Holmes has the secret for turning Tom Cruise on, but now she is sharing it with the world. “Tom likes me in a suit and a mini every now and then. I like it when he likes it. It makes me blush… He’ll say, ‘You look good. I hope security’s going with you.’ Now that gives me attitude.”
Then she added, “He really likes my vagina. Loves vagina. Because he’s not gay. At all. If he were any less gay, he’d… ah, um… it’s Greek art! Those were just erotic statues! I don’t know anything about the tapes! Look, Suri! I had Suri! How could I have a baby with a gay man? It can’t happen! Science! Aaaugh!” and then a lot of hyperventilating and frantic looking around and a “He’s here, isn’t he? Oh, God, he’s here! Tell him I said he wasn’t gay. TELL HIM! ” before she folded into the fetal position and started sobbing quietly.
Katie Christmas shopping with Suri last week:
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
Dragulf
That’s not a tomboy beanpole either. Wait. Sorry Katie but you “husband” is gay. Tell him to come on out of the closet already. We already know.
TCLTC!
Dec 13th, 2007
abby
Being with him has aged her 15 years.
Dec 13th, 2007
agita
Let him stay in the closet, he might come out wearing her mini
Dec 13th, 2007
p0nk
He likes her in a suit - reminds of him of a 14yo boy at the prom.
TCLTC
Dec 13th, 2007
abby
He also likes her in a mustache and assless chaps.
Dec 13th, 2007
Italian Stallion
You know how we know Tom’s a fag? It’s all right there…..
TCLTC
Dec 13th, 2007
dannygutters
kids love pottery barn.
Dec 13th, 2007
bionic bunny
*sigh*
i can’t help following trends.
TCLTC
Dec 13th, 2007
Aerobella
Jimmy Carr - British Comedian;
You’re gay right? You’re so far in the closet you’re having adventures in Narnia.
Dec 14th, 2007
nojustno
Surely Katie has noticed that Suri looks NOTHING like Tom Cruise, then again she has grown the giant horse teeth yet.
What happened to Katie?, she looks awful.
Dec 14th, 2007
I'd be surly too if I was inheriting that nose and the tooth-in-the-middle
I thank that child should have been named “Surly”.
Dec 16th, 2007
I'd be surly too if I was inheriting that nose and the tooth-in-the-middle
er…”THINK”…^^^^^^^
Dec 16th, 2007
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