Jaimie Lynn is a Goddamned Liar
Tags: jamie-lynn spears, pregnant
The National Enquirer was the first to break the news that Jaimie Lynn Spears was pregnant back in July of this year, well before Tuesday’s surprise announcement. Her flak’s response to the Enquirer’s article was a hilariously sanctimonious cease-and-desist letter touting her moral infallibility and unquestionable chasteness (excerpts below):
Ms. Spears is a devout Christian with a spotless reputation who lives in accordance with the highest moral and ethical standards in accordance with her faith
Re: living out of wedlock with her teenage boyfriend, just like in the Bible.
There is no “rumor concerning Ms. Spears’ pregnancy, except… for the baseless rumor being created by the National Enquirer.
Why don’t you just slap Jesus across the face already with your lies.
Ms. Spears is not pregnant.
But if she were, ever heard of “virgin birth?” Check the gospels. It happens.
It is pathetic for the National Enquirer to… run a malicious and false story which would be emotionally devastating to a morally upright 16 year old girl
Or morally on-her-back 16 year old girl.
Ms. Spears demands the National Enquirer immediately cease and desist from spreading false and malicious rumors she is pregnant and… be reprimanded for [its] improper and illegal conduct.
Speaking of illegal, isn’t a 19 year old knocking up a 16 year old illegal in most states?
You can read the entire letter here, or you can stand in front of an open oven and imagine you’re at the threshold of the fiery gates of hell. It’s pretty much the same thing.
Jamie before she was pregnant:
14 Comments, Comment or Ping
tiny4eva
I for one was shocked when it was announced that she was pregnant. I really thought this girl was going to be much better at staying out of trouble….
Anyway, if the National Inquirer announced in July that she was pregnant, regardless of how far along she would of been then, it’s been 5 months so she would be showing a belly now. I don’t think she was pregnant then since I can’t even see a hint of a belly on her recent photos.
Dec 20th, 2007
abby
Maybe she’s having the alien baby of Elvis and that’s why she’s not showing.
Dec 20th, 2007
open mouth jones
Who cares if she’s a liar, more importantly; she’s a goddamn WHORE! OOOOOH, OOOH I feel a new nick name coming on! Whorey McPantsonfire or Slutty McNeverlateforcurfew. Hmmmm. What to choose?
Dec 20th, 2007
p0nk
xrist, i am just so disgusted with this whole DisneyPorn crap. Does anyone honestly think any of these teenage starlets are chaste? I can’t even joke about this crap anymore. It’s one thing for Hollywood to exploit these wannabe stars, but they’re bringing down an entire generation of impressionable teens and pre-teens. I can laugh at the adult celebutards who bring on their own troubles, but the kids… xrist. I need to take a break.
Dec 20th, 2007
RichPort
I wonder if she’s a swallower…
And since the Enquirer appears to be one of the more accurate US publications, I’m really looking forward to meeting that lady who got impregnated by her cat.
Dec 20th, 2007
kay
people are say how she is turning out to be like her sister, well at least her sister waited until she was married and older to have kids.
Dec 20th, 2007
abby
I figure if you’re on Disney, you’re into anal. And if you’re on Nickelodeon, you’re into bukkake and double penetration. That Dora the Explorer is one huge slut.
Dec 20th, 2007
RichPort
Every one knows about the Mexican porn classic Dora Does Donkeys… right?
Dec 20th, 2007
Dragulf
Can we please not talk about Dora? Thanks!
Dec 20th, 2007
RichPort
It was just reported that Dora is in fact pregnant as well. A statement released by Nickelodeon that confirms her pregnancy said “What do you expect from a six year old Mexican whore?” Dora’s future with the children’s programming channel is currently on hiatus, and her cousin Diego, last seen picking tomatoes in Florida, was unavailable for comment.
Dec 20th, 2007
daisy
what kind of mother would let their 16 yr old date somebody who was 19??? as far as her show, zoey 101 should just be pulled off the air. I found her at one big site, it seems that is Blackcentury.com. Sorry. I forget the username. I will check if this is true. I will tell you the results soon.
Dec 21st, 2007
nojustno
dnag she got her sum ol grease on her ugly face.
I wondered if ya’ll shared that bucket o fried chick with ‘er mentally unwell sister?.
Dec 21st, 2007
drunk ass
She’s just another dumb teen whore. Actually, she is dumber than her sister who admits to fucking timberlake when she was young but just didn’t get knocked up. JLS is proving she is actually dumber than britney cuz she got knocked up. devout xian my ass. NO ONE is a devout xian. not when they;re that fuckable anyway. just another trailer trash whore who has nothing better to do than pollute the world with more trailer trash,. that’s all they do is procreate. they;re too stupid to do anything else. except meth.
Dec 26th, 2007
drunk ass
I hope it was her first time. teach that idiot a lesson.
Dec 26th, 2007
Reply to “Jaimie Lynn is a Goddamned Liar”