Name That Celebrity: Meth-Face Edition

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I love guessing games. Always have. In fact, the speedometer in my car hasn’t worked for the last three years, but I haven’t bothered to fix it because I like to “guess” how fast I’m going most of the time. All I have to do is compare the RPMs to the relative gear that I’m in. For example, third gear/low threes is about fifty miles an hour. Fifth gear/high twos is roughly sixty-five miles an hour. That way, when an officer pulls me over and asks if I know how fast I was going, I can honestly say, “No, sir, I don’t.” Also, it makes drinking and driving way more of a challenge than it already is. It’s like Battle of the Brains for your car.

But I digress. The point is that you, like me, like keeping your rapist’s wit1 sharpened and your mind limber, and nothing stirs up the old gray matter like a good “Name That Celebrity.” Today’s celebrity body part: the boil-riddled lower jaw (and possible mustache?) of a well-known Hollywood actress. You usually only find cysts that big on a ovary or near a overflowing bedpan, but this lucky starlet had them set up shop on her face. Look out, meth addicts — there’s a new girl in town!

The meth-tacular reveal after the jump

1To anyone who says it’s “rapier’s wit”: nobody likes you

It’s Lindsay Lohan! And your choice of Herpes Simplex I, cystic acne, or meth sores!

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20 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. RichPort

    ProActiv my ass…

  2. abby

    So I shouldn’t wash my face with nail polish remover and ajax?

  3. p0nk

    better than smoking nail polish remover and ajax.

  4. RichPort

    And this, folks, is why make up artists make so damn much.

  5. Gingerly

    Am I the only one thinking of Zoolander after seeing that?

  6. I prefer to snort nail polish myself p0nk. Go Brit-Brit! Where am I? What was I saying? Anyways, the only thing that matters is … OOH! KFC! I’m hungry!

  7. open mouth jones

    I guess that’s why she always seems to have three tons of concealer on her jaw, giving her that adorable “I have 5 o’clock stubble at 7am” look. Why was she popular again? Boobs? Do they really distract from her face enough to make up for that?

  8. abby

    Nice dirty Sanchez ‘stache.

  9. Me

    open mouth jones: Yep. Yes they do. I hear they also cure cancer. What don’t boobs do?

  10. bionic bunny

    @me:
    tap dance and whistle dixie. at the same time, that is.

    geez. remember when everyone complained about her cute li’l freckles????

  11. torkue

    Actually, it’s “rapier wit.” :-)

  12. daisy

    What did she done to her face? Terrible. I have ever seen her hot video at blackcentury.com. It is a niche interracial dating site. It is said that she had a profile there

  13. agita

    She has become the face of hollyweird

  14. It seems like everyone who got their lips done recently is getting this reaction. Is there bad Restylane going around?

  15. Sharday

    The breakouts around the mouth can also be caused by bulimia. When the acid from the vomit splashes on your face. She’s probably been eating and vomitting.

  16. herpes

    you are talking about the herpes? Maybe STDromance.com can be a good place to find the hot topic about it

  17. ashley

    don’t you think it’s a little f*cked up to post this?

    if she is on meth, she obviously has enough problems, she doesn’t need websites like this posting stuff.

  18. She does look like she smokes meth in this pic because i know how people that smoke look i have a lot of friends that use and it look sup to date

  19. grrl

    Wasn’t she a Disney child actress? And Brit-Brit Spears? AND ….? More guessing games! Let’s name them all and do a “Where are they now?”!

  20. jesse

    give the girl a damn break, i think she still looks hot. everyone has a breakout here and there

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