I Smell an Oscar!
Tags: movie, Paris Hilton
I can’t put into words the array of emotions that washed over me while watching the trailer for Paris Hilton’s new movie, “The Hottie and the Nottie.”1 First rage, then nausea, then blinding fury, then the nausea again, and finally, an overwhelming sense of impending doom for the fate of Western society. On the plus side, it loosened my bowels and took the finish off a desk I’ve been planning on resurfacing. So, you know, take that into consideration before watching it yourself. And I don’t make any promises if you’re pregnant. Your kid could come out with an extra vagina or a seventeen or turn out to be part demon. You’d probably be better off sifting through a pile radioactive blue-veined cheeses and smoking cigarettes made of mercury. Luckily, I was already doing that before I started watching, so I saved some real time.
1Fun fact: This movie single-handedly killed “Smellavision.” Also two extras who happened to be midgets. The two incidents are unrelated.
7 Comments, Comment or Ping
Me
Straight to DVD? I think yes.
Dec 21st, 2007
daisy
She so beautiful! I hear she on site meetmutants.com, where mutants go to hook up.
Dec 21st, 2007
p0nk
haha ‘daisy’ well done!
somebody please find out what moron ponied up the cash for this flop. paris herself?
Dec 21st, 2007
lils
Yeah, because Paris Hilton would totally hang around with a girl who looks like th… wait, she used be friends with Britney, doesn’t she?
Dec 21st, 2007
Dragulf
Abby, little people don’t like it when you call them Midgets. Please be careful or them might throw themselves at you. Midgets Unite!!!
You know Xmas is coming when all I am left with is dwarf jokes…
Dec 21st, 2007
agita
Oscar? Smells like tuna
Dec 21st, 2007
TheLostGirl
It’ll probably end up Jessica Simpson style taking a grand or whatever at the box office!
Dec 22nd, 2007
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