Lindsay Lohan Pulls a Hat Trick
Tags: capri film festival, Lindsay Lohan, slut
Lindsay Lohan spent the weekend slutting it up at a film festival in Capri, and the paparazzi captured it all on film for your judging pleasure. Female First says
First she was pictured kissing Italian waiter Alessandro Di Nunzio soon after arriving on the island on Friday, before sharing a kiss with actor Eduardo Costa the following day. The 21-year-old actress was then caught on camera yesterday morning canoodling with actor Dario Faiella.
An onlooker said: “Lindsay is really enjoying herself in Capri. She wasn’t content to just share a kiss with one man – it seemed like she was on a mission. She doesn’t seem to have had any time for anything but men since she got here.”
That’s just the ones the photographers caught her groping. God knows how many slipped into her leggings unnoticed. That Lohan can sniff out an unsuspecting penis from a hundred paces — even the dark and blindfolded. I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that Native Americans used her vagina to divine for semen and aborted fetuses hidden among the deltas of the mighty Mississippi. Every good Choctaw knows there’s nothing like a couple of chunks of baby floating in a bucket of ejaculate to appease the great Hushtahli from withholding the rain, and Lindsay Lohan can’t turn around without stepping in one. And then, when it finally does rain, the firecrotch makes a great makeshift tent to shelter the entire tribe from the storm. Form AND function, boys and girls. It’s kinda like how the Native American used every part of the buffalo, even down to the intestines and hooves. After Lindsay had sex with it first, of course. Ancient talismans always get first dibs!
10 Comments, Comment or Ping
Zelda
Erm…I usually find you hilarious but that one is just…ew…
Dec 31st, 2007
p0nk
you would think by now that any penis in a 20′ radius of her would spontaneously burst into flames. Al-Qaeda should be enlisting her vagina as a terrorist.
Dec 31st, 2007
abby
I wanted you to think “ew.” It’s Lindsay Lohan. “Ew” should be your natural response!
Dec 31st, 2007
abby
P.S. Also, the Old People Suck post should elicit an “ew” response. That goes double if you keep partially aborted fetuses in buckets of cum near your computer. Ewww!
Dec 31st, 2007
Aerobella
Goodness.. EW! Aborted baby parts?! I am begining to think you need to find a therapist and seek some help for episodes of perverse fantasy you write about now.
Dec 31st, 2007
bionic bunny
how do you make a dead baby float???
two scoops of vanilla and one scoop of dead baby……
Jan 1st, 2008
Sam I am
Gotta give Lindsey credit…She has a twat and knows how to use it. Too bad at 21 she has used it more than a 75 year old hooker….
Jan 2nd, 2008
abby
LOL Bunny! Like the old “grosser than gross” jokes of yore…
Jan 2nd, 2008
RichPort
What’s the best Xmas gift for a dead baby?
A dead puppy.
Jan 2nd, 2008
Dimitri
ROFLMAO! This post had me laughing so hard I forwarded it to friends! I love you Abby!!
Jan 3rd, 2008
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