J-Lo To Perform Scientologist ‘Silent Birth’
Tags: Jennifer Lopez, Katie Holmes, marc anthony, scientology, silent birth
Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have decided to follow in the silent footsteps of fellow Scientologist Katie Holmes when it comes to birthing their baby. London’s The Sun says
Jennifer Lopez [will be] giving birth naturally, quiet, and free from painkillers. J-Lo and husband Marc Anthony are keen followers of [Scientology and believe] that loud hospital environments and doctor’s shouts of ‘push push’ can have damaging effects on a newborn later in life. A pal of the 38-year-old [said]: “Although she knows it will be hard not to scream, she understands why it will be good for the baby to have peace and quiet.”
Perhaps more than her maternal screams possibly scarring the infant, J-Lo should consider the life-long impact of being snatched up in the sinewy arms of that hobgoblin they call “Marc Anthony.” The doctor might as well chuck the baby in a ransacked grave and see how it bonds with a partially-exhumed corpse or let it cuddle with a sewer rat for a couple of hours. Not that the idea of silence in and of itself is so bad. In fact, I’d even go as far to say a totally silent JLo/Marc Anthony album is damn near brilliant. It’s really more about getting the silence timing right.
Silent birther Katie Holmes doing her best middle-aged elementary school secretary last week:
17 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
Knowing J Ho’s past, she’ll likely cum while giving birth.
Jan 3rd, 2008
me
I wonder if the furry little animals she wears as clothes screamed while they were being skinned alive? Fucking bitch.
Jan 3rd, 2008
Chris
Wow i Just dont understand the ogic behind this.
Jan 3rd, 2008
p0nk
silent births only happen with lots of drugs, or if the ‘hotdog down the hallway’ metaphor is in reverse. in J-Lo’s case, the 2nd is a definite possibility.
oh and TCLTC.
Jan 3rd, 2008
sonya
Am I the only one who thinks the idea of pampered diva going without painkillers or making a sound less than unlikely?
Plus, she’s Latina; Dios mio!–you can’t fight your nature.
Jan 3rd, 2008
me
Won’t somebody please think of the furry animals?!?!?!
Jan 3rd, 2008
Mr.Poop
This has got to be the DUMBEST fuckin idea i’ve ever heard. Scientology is the most ridiculous thing on this planet.
Jan 3rd, 2008
wow-zer
Unbelievable. Only an idiot who hasn’t birthed a child would think they can do it silently without drugs. And yeah, I hope it hurts like hell.
What goes around comes around, you miserable hag.
Jan 4th, 2008
Melissa Maples
omfg, who the hell does she think she is? I’d be interested to hear if any mother in the history of the world has ever given birth completely silently. I would think the woman would have to be unconscious for that.
Jan 4th, 2008
San
stupid, stupid “logic” of silent birth. plus, for sure this idea was made up by a man, the sperm donor.
Jan 4th, 2008
bionic bunny
okay, this has been driving me crazy. is it just me, or is that the same dress jane fonda wore in “monster-in-law” just before the wedding? i mean, i get it, it looks good with that huge belly, but its kind of freaking me out.
btw, isn’t it fairly easy not to scream in pain if one has a c-section? just wondering.
Jan 4th, 2008
sonya
But she isn’t going to be taking painkillers bunny, so there you go.
Jan 4th, 2008
TheLostGirl
I agree, it’s stupid and impractical to expect her to be silent. No offence fellas, but it shows that this rule was thought up by a guy!
Jan 5th, 2008
lol
LostGirl-
Simply put: L. Ron Hubbard.
Jan 7th, 2008
beentheredonethat
Wow-zer is so right. I’ve given birth all natural (not by choice, but because, during an otherwise perfect labor, my baby went into distress and meds would have dangerously lowered her heart rate) and the level of pain is frightening. You just cannot imagine how scary being in that much pain is. It’s numbing and all emcompassing and instict and nature takes over and you’re not even aware of alot of what you do or say, or what is going on around you. It makes me laugh when women who have never had a baby, smugly think they can just breeze through it. Medical help is there for a reason, and giving birth is natural, yes, but dangerous as well. That’s why so many women used to die during childbirth. Bitch has no idea what she’s talking about. I would LOVE to see this diva woman actually pull off complete unmedicated silence.
Jan 7th, 2008
Andrea
Well regardles of All the Negative Comments I Can only Say this …HATERS!!… If J-Lo sais she will have a silent Birth why be so against it after all Childbirth is something Beautiful and Im sorry i know Some people here have gone through it But NEWSFLASH! such a thing as a Silent Birth is completely Normal. Besides Yes I is a Painful Experience. But Guess What the Power Of the mind is AMAZING. So insteard of Critisizing. try to send some love her way. Specially those Who HAVE kids. because you know what the Experience is like.
NO i am not A J-Lo fan I can Honestly Say thaty I HAVE met her and She WAS a BITCH but eveb then People Deserve a secound Chance and I Still Wish her all the Best.
Jan 14th, 2008
vicki
yea fucking right. i have newborn twin boys. when that pain starts kicking her ass she gon scream “FUCK SCIENTOLOGY”!. gimme sum morphine dammit!!
Jan 18th, 2008
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