Nicole Kidman Really Truly Really Pregnant

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It’s confirmed — recent box office poison Nicole Kidman is officially pregnant. OK! Magazine says

After weeks of speculation, Nicole Kidman has confirmed the good news that she and her husband, country music superstar Keith Urban, are expecting their first child together! “The couple are thrilled,” a rep for the actress tells OK!.

I’m sure Keith Urban celebrated the good news by inhaling an eight ball and drunkenly tag-teaming two underage models. Nicole, on the other hand, probably got more Botox and another coating of pureed baby foreskins spackled to her face. Soon, those stem cells will be hers — all hers! Looks like harvest season’s coming early this year, my pretties.

Nicole and Goldenrod leaving the Art Gallery of New South Wales Friday:

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6 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. I predict her face will crumble and crack during childbirth

  2. And per recent Box_Office performance, NO ONE will attend the birth.

  3. which further proves that TCLTC

  4. Anyone else concerned that she’ll eat the child immediately after it’s birthed, in order to devour it’s life-essence and preserve her chillingly flawless facade?

  5. Urban has “user face” - looks like twenty miles of bad road…

  6. with her smooth, waxy skin, and lack of facial expression, perhaps she’ll give birth to a box of votive candles?

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