Amy Winehouse returned from a two-week long Caribbean vacation on the island of Mustique yesterday, and she and her uterus already have big plans for 2008. According to The Daily Mail

A friend of the singer said: “On her last prison visit she told Blake that she wants to try and get pregnant as soon as she can. She reckons it will pull them together as a family and help them focus their lives on something positive.”

Because nothing screams “daddy material” like:

Blake, 25, is on remand in Pentonville prison for alleged assault and conspiracy to pervert the course of justice. [Fielder-Civil was] recently put into solitary confinement after guards discovered his had been drinking homemade prison hooch.

Yeah, well good luck getting pregnant and all that. I’m sure being thirty pounds underweight and strung out on heroin does wonders for the old baby box. Who needs prenatal vitamins anyway? Just in case, though, Amy might want to see about getting Fielder to blow his wad in an ashtray full of her ovaries’ finest. You know, try to strong arm the miracle of life. Then she could stick the developing embryos in an old boot full of warm water and pour in the occasional Tic-Tacs and malted scotch when she remembers. Ten to one says the fetus would do better there than trapped inside her actual womb.

Amy signing autographs and posing for pictures with fans at the airport before she stripped down to her bra at Heathrow:

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