Pete Doherty Wears Lingerie
Tags: Pete Doherty, portia freeman
Here’s a little somethin’ to start your morning off right: I want you to close your eyes and imagine yourself on a serene beach. No, really. Just do it. The sun warm on your face, a salty breeze, the faint cry of seagulls and surf in the backdrop of your mind. Are we there yet? Okay, good. Now I want you to conjure up the image of Pete Doherty’s nipples. Puffy and pink, surrounded by moles and the occasional wayward sprig of hair. Okay, now imagine they’re chapped. Drink it all in like a fine port — swirl it around in your metaphorical glass and breathe in the heady bouquet of puss and flaking areolas. Lastly, imagine them nestled like bleeding bird eggs inside his girlfriend’s Cross Your Heart. Voila! — instantaneous bliss. You can thank me later. According to Female First
Pete Doherty is wearing his girlfriend’s bras to protect his “sore nipples”. The troubled Babyshambles rocker is in training for this year’s Flora London Marathon [and] complains his T-shirts are chafing his chest. [Doherty] has been borrowing 19-year-old model Portia Freeman’s padded underwear to ease the pain.
A source said: “He’s really serious about kicking drugs and this is really testing his will power and giving him a goal. All that is putting him off are his amazingly sore nipples, but Portia’s underwear is really helping.”
The only thing that could possibly be worse than Pete Doherty’s chapped nipples is maybe an oozing boil on Blake Fielder-Civil’s taint, but I’m going to save myself the trip and let you take the mental escape there yourself. You can just send me a postcard instead.
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
open mouth jones
I’ll thank you later indeed. Much, much later.
Jan 17th, 2008
RichPort
Sore nipples… I swear addicts can use anything to justify their habits. I’m surprised he didn’t just complain about his hair hurting.
Jan 17th, 2008
Popcornridge
Well, he looks like the picture of health on that picture,
Jan 17th, 2008
nordo
Doherty IS an oozing boil
Jan 17th, 2008
sonya
Bleeehhhhh… I’m SO glad I haven’t had breakfast this morning. Puffy pink man-nipples should be BANNED!
Jan 17th, 2008
abby
Believe it or not, I couldn’t find any decent pictures of his nipples for the headershot. Hence the imagination vacation.
Jan 17th, 2008
p0nk
portia freeman’s underwear would give me a goal too, but probably not the same one as pete’s.
Jan 17th, 2008
Dachelle
Disclaimer: I’m a fan, and pretty much 100% convinced this story is rubbish. Having said that, you couldn’t locate a picture of Peter’s nipples? Really? I have more pictures of him saved to my hard drive with his shirt off than on. They’re not that difficult to find.
There are also quite a few pics of him floating around actually wearing a bra, as he’s performed in drag both with The Libertines and Babyshambles several times.
Jan 17th, 2008
bionic bunny
yeah, thanks for the imagery, abby. *urp*
Jan 17th, 2008
abby
I didn’t really look very hard, to be honest. I didn’t know there were so many Pete Doherty nipple authorities on the job. Plus I wanted to use the word “sprig.” What’s a girl to do?
Jan 17th, 2008
me
Nobody blames you for not wanting to search for pictures of Pete Doherty.
Jan 17th, 2008
MOLLY
Thats the most CUTE thing I have ever heard!
Its SOOO sweet!!! lol x
Jan 30th, 2008
Reply to “Pete Doherty Wears Lingerie”