Jan 18, 2008

Britney Has Multiple Personalities?

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It seems the new British accent Britney Spears has been sporting belongs to “British Girl,” one of the many personalties setting up shop inside her mind. Cheerio! According to TMZ

Britney has multiple personalities, including, as people in her life call it, “the British girl.” We’re told when Spears loses the British personality, she absolutely no idea what she did during the time she assumed that personality. Brit has a number of other identities — “the weepy girl, the diva, the incoherent girl,” and on and on. Sources say Britney had become the British girl the day she didn’t show for her deposition and has no recollection of it.

Lucky for her, 200 photographers caught every damn second of what happened the day of the hearing, so maybe Weepy Girl can browse some of those photos online and watch just how British Girl wiped her ass with the rights to her children and then went out for a late lunch. Also, someone might want to tell Incoherent Girl that British Girl started her period (NSFW) last night, and the toilet paper wadded up inside her pantyhose isn’t quite doing the trick. Now, if I remember what happens at the end of “Sybil,” we just wait for Retarded Girl and Meth Rage Girl to get into fistfight after Drunk Girl mistakes a bottle of nitroglycerin for vodka and then let science do its stuff. It’s what writers call a “classic denouement,” from the French for “wear a poncho.”

Cousin It Girl dining with Adnan last night:

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15 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. sydNo Gravatar

    She also has the Ray Ban Aviators that I lost in 1983.

    Jan 18th, 2008

  2. meNo Gravatar

    Holy fuck. I actually feel sorry for her. I still wish her general harm though.

    Jan 18th, 2008

  3. p0nkNo Gravatar

    multiple? i’d be happy if she could start with one.

    Jan 18th, 2008

  4. abbyNo Gravatar

    I call bullshit on this one. Pretending she has multiple personalities is an easy way to shift blame away from herself. I know this because I took “Intro to Psychology” in ‘98. Also, my other personality “Tina Ballerina” told me it was true.

    Jan 18th, 2008

  5. mike gNo Gravatar

    To see her in a “better” shape, listen to her music and see rare paparazzi videos try http://www.WhyFame.com

    Jan 18th, 2008

  6. phil_poopNo Gravatar

    “The essential feature of Dissociative Identity Disorder is the presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states (Criterion A) that recurrently take control of behavior (Criterion B). There is an inability to recall important personal information, the extent of which is too great to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness (Criterion C). The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance or a general medical condition (Criterion D).”

    That’s from DSM IV. Take a gander at Criterion D.

    Jan 18th, 2008

  7. phil_poopNo Gravatar

    Also, you can’t be faking it just to get in the gossip rags because otherwise no one would give a toss whether you lived or died (Criterion E).

    Jan 18th, 2008

  8. open mouth jonesNo Gravatar

    mike g- why don’t you go jump off a fucking goddamn cliff. we don’t want your kind here. “listen to her ‘music’” HA. I’d rather stick my head in a shit encrusted toilet used by Britney after eating at Taco Bell, and then flush said toilet, than subject my innocent ears to that.

    Jan 18th, 2008

  9. p0nkNo Gravatar

    thank you, open mouth.
    wtf is up with all of these farking spammers?

    Jan 18th, 2008

  10. VeggiNo Gravatar

    I almost thought that wasn’t her. You know, because of the whole “wearing something on her lower half” thing, but then I saw the Starbucks. All is right with the world.

    Jan 18th, 2008

  11. rlr260No Gravatar

    Well, at least she’s not pregnant.

    Jan 18th, 2008

  12. bionic bunnyNo Gravatar

    i wondered when she’d try this.

    Jan 18th, 2008

  13. soulpatchNo Gravatar

    anybody else wanna rip that shit off Adnons face? what a d-bag

    Jan 18th, 2008

  14. abbyNo Gravatar

    You usually only see the “landing strip” on vaginas. Interesting.

    Jan 20th, 2008

  15. KaylaNo Gravatar

    She doesn’t have multiple personalities, that is just a way for “them” to have another “STORY” about Britney. And if the freaks were in my face and ass 24/7 (and yours too) there would be at least SOEM shots we wouldn’t want the wolrd to see. THOSE FREAKS ARE REALLY SICK AND WE ALL KNOW IT. WE MIGHT HAVE KILLED ONE OF THEM BY NOW IF WE WERE BRITNEY!!!

    Jan 22nd, 2008

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