Britney Spears Visits An Elementary School
Tags: Britney Spears
A “scantily clad” Britney Spears parked outside a Beverly Hills elementary school last week — chain-smoking and talking to herself — and told a fellow parent she was there to pick up her children. No, wait — somebody else’s children. Uh, her lawyer’s children. She then of course left with no children. It’s Britney, bitch! The parent told Us Weekly
“She was just rambling and confused. She said, ‘I’m here to pick up my kids.’ But then she changed her story and said, ‘They aren’t my kids; I have a new attorney, and I came to pick them up for her.’ All I could think was, Who in their right mind would let her pick up their kids? [Before she drove off without any children, she told me] ‘You’re so nice. You should give me your number. I don’t have very many friends.’”
You half-expect a passel of stray cats to come crawling out from the center consul and underneath the seats and while she’s talking to you. Maybe a couple peering out from the folds of her muumuu and two or three eyeballing you from the headrests. She’d call them all “my preciouses” and let them lick her teeth while she’s talking and her eyes would be all unfocused and she’d screech a lot at nothing and wring her hands and moan, like a real-life version of the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons. Only with saggier tits and a fake British accent.
In case you missed it in the quickies, Britney at Petco yesterday:
16 Comments, Comment or Ping
Veggi
Holy areola.
Jan 25th, 2008
me
Her boobs look unhappy.
Jan 25th, 2008
Mr. Poop
What would you know about BOOBS me…..You wish you had a rack like that!
Jan 25th, 2008
p0nk
will somebody please sell this lady some new kids?!
Jan 25th, 2008
open mouth jones
Isn’t ’scantily clad’ pretty much the norm for Sad Nips? It’s kind of assumed she’s scantily clad and/or missing essential articles of clothing ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
Something like this would really be considered “breaking” news:
Britney Wears a BRA!
Britney Takes Sanity Into Her Own Hands- Checks into Mental Health Clinic!
Britney Proves She Loves Children By Showing Up For Court!
Although honestly at this point I’ll even take:
Britney Uses a Sanitary Napkin!
Jan 25th, 2008
Queenjane
All you people are so mean. Please leave Britney Alone. Don’t you all have anything else better to do with your stupid lives than come here and talk bad! I bet your all smokers….go outside on your lunch break while it’s 2 below zero and freeze to death just to smoke your cancer sticks! Get LIVES people!
Jan 25th, 2008
Veggi
Queenie- Come on. I’m WAY more fucked up than just having a smoking addiction….but I’ve also known the difference in your/you’re since the 4th grade.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get this hooker home before he smokes all my crack
Jan 25th, 2008
me
Mr. Poop, if i had a rack like that ‘d try to cheer them up a bit. Maybe juggle for them or sing them a song….I’d even try funny faces.
Jan 25th, 2008
p0nk
queenjohn, you seem to be missing a critical component to all of this…Britney doesn’t want to be left alone. She’s working pretty damn hard to garner all of this attention and it would just be a damn shame if we were to ignore her - in fact she’d likely kill herself. Granted we may not be giving her the kind of attention she wants, but she doesn’t pay me enough for that kind of attention.
jonesy, you’re spot on. ’scantily clad’ implies an intentional mode of dress to be sexually alluring. Not quite the same as forgetting your pants and putting torn undies on your head. She ought to be wearing one of those shirts with the sleeves that tie in the back.
Jan 25th, 2008
spatz
looks like her nipples are planning an escape…
Jan 25th, 2008
RichPort
I guess she’s going broke and has to chose between Starbucks and a fucking bra.
Jan 25th, 2008
Veggi
Rich- A fucking bra? Now there’s an invention I could live with!
Jan 25th, 2008
Veggi
The tag on this is golden….
“Britney Spears, children, crazy”
Jan 25th, 2008
popcornridge
QueeJane, You are so right, I take back every meany thing I have said about britney, I don’t have a life as I spend my days riding around on the metro bus just to stay worm, thanks to this nice gent, to my left, I am able to access the net via his labtop, I take it all back Britney is a nice up standing Lady, with style and class
Jan 25th, 2008
open mouth jones
thanks pOnk darling. my fingers were itching to give smeg breath jane up there a good dressing down, but you saved me the trouble- and complimented me in the process. Rock ON!
[giving janie the finger while smoking a foul, nasty and smelly cigarette]
Jan 25th, 2008
bionic bunny
i like a nice smoked ham. do have to go outside and freeze, too?
i have an idea. i’ll leave HER alone when she leaves US alone. how’s that?
Jan 28th, 2008
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