The Grammys Fug
Tags: beyonce, Carrie Underwood, cher, grammys, kelis, Miley Cyrus, nas, Rihanna
There was plenty of shockingly awful (see futuristic Tina and Beyonce, above) fug at last night’s Grammys awards show. I find that like stink on a gorilla, fashion disasters seem almost intrinsic to an award show. The more stink, the merrier.
And speaking of stink, let’s start with Nas and girlfriend Kelis, promoting his new album “Nigger” and what’s sure to be a big hit with college-educated African-Americans everywhere — his new fashion line NegroWear!TM:
Rihanna did her best wounded exotic bird in a ruffled cobalt blue Zac Posen disaster. I see they got the feathers, but for the tar, try Nas’s NegroWear!TM brand lynchin’ tar:
Miley Cyrus and her devil eyes showed up in a white sequined Celine dress and hair extensions she forgot to curl:
Beyonce donned a hideous beaded tulle Elie Saab gown she probably borrowed from Candyland’s Princess Frostine:
Melissa Joan Hart’s dress is okay; her hair color, lack of makeup and general fatness are not. I know she’s pregnant, but that’s way too much bloat:
Cher came in costume as Goth Cowardly Lion.
Carrie Underwood’s floral Zuhair Murad isn’t great, but it isn’t fabulous, either. It’s the hair helmet that bothers me. It looks like a damn tranny wig:
18 Comments, Comment or Ping
RichPort
Cher wins for worst wig since Lil Kim, best Botox since Laura Bush, and, according to that frock, apparently has a penis.
Feb 11th, 2008
J
I remember when I was 15, going to my first high school dance, and my dad pimped me out like a high class hooker. I was the belle of the ball, just like Miley!
Feb 11th, 2008
open mouth jones
I cannot express how lucky I feel that Abby took one for the team and watched this drivel instead of me.
Feb 11th, 2008
RichPort
Miley Cyrus will be blowing the same guys in the same club bathrooms Paris and Lindsey do now, buying coke from the same dealers and running from (calling in advance) the same pap smears. It’s the circle of life, really…
Feb 11th, 2008
syd
Good point, open mouth. Thank God I didn’t have to watch this shit to get the dirt.
I can’t stand to hear Miley talk. I’ve never heard her sing, but that 70 yr old smoker’s voice is just fucked up coming from a 15 yr old.
Carrie needs to ease up on the body glitter.
Feb 11th, 2008
chick
You’re stupid. Nas and Kelis have been MARRIED for a few years now. At least pretend to be interested in the black celebs.
Feb 11th, 2008
abby
I’m sorry, chick, but “girlfriend” is the preferred nomenclature of the black man. “Bitch,” “ho” or “old lady” would also be acceptable. Besides, none of the white people I know have ever heard of this “Kelis.” He might have just made her up. At least pretend not to be such an ignorant asshole.
Feb 11th, 2008
mjo
I’m not quite sure who the black man is….and if you white people don’t know who she is does she cease to exist? Just wonderining how your world works. I could give a shit about the awards but …
Feb 11th, 2008
Jen
I think Melissa Joan Hart must be pregnant with MULTIPLE babies. The only way that size makes sense is if she has triplets in there. Maybe quads.
Feb 11th, 2008
Aerobella
Poor Miley and her mush mouth.. squinty eyes, bad makeup and gross hair.. har har. Cher parachute didn’t open and her midieval costume was tattered but bless her she made do with what she could cover herself up in of the wreak and staggered to the event. The rest are so predictable ho-hum I am still wondering why Melissa Hart is invited anywhere. She is beat up, wan and not going to ever improve her place in life.
Feb 11th, 2008
bionic bunny
oh. so THAT’s who’s pregnant. i was confused by the other self-righteous poster.
when will they learn, abby, when will they learn.
i agree, though, melissa’s having a litter.
Feb 11th, 2008
Lisa
You don’t remember Kelis, of “Milkshake” fame? You lucky bastard, I have that crappy song stuck in my head even as I type this.
Let up a little on Melissa, though. I agree she could’ve worked a little harder to make herself presentable, but any normal (re: non-Hollywood) person is gonna look something like that when they get pregnant.
Feb 11th, 2008
blabbinit
Very interesting!
Feb 11th, 2008
ShortStackofTrouble
I know the picture isn’t up, but I can’t believe that no one is talking about the fact that Aretha Franklin wore the same dress to the Grammy Awards that she wore to the Kennedy Center Honors in December! I know she’s a legend, and I give her R-E-S-P-E-C-T, but C’MON- it’s the Grammys; GET A NEW DRESS!
Feb 12th, 2008
SAD PEOPLE
YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL SAD, WITH NOTHING BUT NEGATIVITY SPEWING FORTH!
GET A DAMN LIFE~
YOU DIDN’T WATCH THE SHOW BUT ARE ONE OF THE FIRST LEAVING COMMENTS ON THE INTERNET ABOUT HOW SUCKY IT WAS…
WHERE IS THE LOGIC?
STOP BEING ENVIOUS GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTTS AND GO DO SOMETHING TODAY YOU BUNCH OF LOSERS! ☼
Feb 12th, 2008
INo
Cher is f^%*n hot. What are you all talking about. She’s hot even in bum’s clothes. DAM!!
Feb 14th, 2008
big foot
nothing says class like calling a pregnant woman fat and questioning if she’s having triplets because she’s so big. I guess some people haven’t seen pregnant women, ever, or are aware that every pregnancy is different. A woman can have several pregnancies, and each time she can be a different size regardless of how much she consumes. See, there’s a baby and amniotic fluid in there, for those who have forgotten.
I think the caption for Carrie Underwood was meant to read that her dress wasn’t *bad* but it wasn’t fabulous either.
Feb 16th, 2008
oakling
Hey, pregnant celebrities are confusing. Most of them are so far past anorexic that it’s a wonder we can even understand that Melissa Joan Hart is pregnant and not a hot air balloon. It’s Jessica Alba’s fault!
Feb 16th, 2008
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