People Magazine is rumored to have paid six million dollars for the rights to publish the exclusive first pics of JLo’s twins here in the U.S., but OK! magazine was only interested in securing the international publishing rights for the shots of the babies. Why would a tabloid magazine giant pass on the publishing rights to the largest tabloid market in the world? Well, to be honest, because Jennifer Lopez sucks. MSNBC says

One magazine industry insider said that frankly, Lopez’ appeal in the U.S. isn’t as broad as many people — including Lopez — would like to think. “Look at her track record with her movies, and look at her album sales. The U.S. market hasn’t been fascinated with her in some time. It makes more sense to not spend a fortune on photos that won’t cause a noticeable increase on the newsstand. This just isn’t going to sell like Shiloh (Jolie-Pitt), and $6 million is a lot of money.”

I remember a time when Bennifer was king and Britney Spears wasn’t on the cover of ever tabloid magazine known to man. Jenny From The Block’s manufactured dance tunes played on every pop music radio station and you couldn’t turn around without being slapped in the face with a new JLo fragrance or clothing venture. Like Dickens said, it was the worst of times. That’s why I always refer to 2001 as “The Year of the Devil.” That, and it’s the same year George Bush came into office and they canceled “Cleopatra 2525” and “The Tick.” That’s got the stink of Satan all over it.

Model Ana Beatriz Barros modeling for JLo’s accessory line because JLo is fat and boring:

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