Christina Aguilera’s Boobs Are Revolting

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Can you figure out what’s wrong with this picture of Christina Aguilera? I’ll give you two guesses. Hint: it rhymes with “moobs.” Still nothing? Look again:

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My superior logic tells me these are either implants encased in scar tissue or a pair of hydrocelphalic twin stowaways on the S.S. Frankentits. Bon voyage, mateys!

The mighty vessel docked at Club Villa on Sunday:

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23 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. BarbadoSlim

    Greasy skank is gonna need some ….uh…reconstruction.

    Gross.

  2. abby

    Capsular contracture much? I’d do that motorboat sound between ‘em but I don’t want to break any teeth.

  3. sonya

    Well they do look like they intend to abandon ship.

  4. Mr.Poop

    i’d still slurp and play wit em….

  5. iheartlasagne

    Oh thank god! I’ve been waiting for hours for these pictures to show up here, so we could all mock her…love the blue veins, very sexy. Jeebus!

  6. margaretta

    My bet is there is an alien in them thar Aquileras

  7. open mouth jones

    that is some truly severe wonky boob. ugh.
    I’m just glad my girls are naturally big and perky- all that praying to Jesus to give me boobs sure worked out well.
    Of course, I may have promised to be a missionary if my prayers were answered… Now, of course, the only gospel I spread is the word of Abby, but, hey, I’m close right?

  8. bionic bunny

    gee, i’d completely forgotten about that particular post-pregnancy phenomenon. she better keep those puppies bound up until the kid’s done with them!

  9. Shauna

    The veins showing under the skin is hormonal. The kaliwompus boobs and unsightly indentations are all man made atrocities. Christina needs to understand that over exposing your boobs is not always the best fashion option. When they are look like this, it’s best to go with the black turtleneck.

  10. Wait, isn’t there supposed to be a baby around here somewhere? Oh, yeah, with the nanny, silly me.

  11. Helly

    Sweet. Holy. Crap.

  12. kay

    she so had a boob job, just look at old pics of her then ones before she was preggers you can tell too in this pic. to round even lacting, i know i am a mother as well. but i do wish i had hers

  13. RichPort

    All those microprocessors that could have been made with all that silicone… Brazilian kids without laptops due to her vanity… President Bush asking “how many kids is a Brazilian???”…

    I know that last bit is as old as John McCain, but still…

  14. GOB7

    Both the blue veins showing and the temporary mishape is a natural occurence children.
    Women who have neither had babies or implants can have showing veins and many do. It’s a by product of tight breasts most of the time it’s from the increased milk production (I can provide her services to help minimize this). Gaining weight can also cause this pregnant women more so.

    The wonkiness or mishape of the breast is from the implants being moved around by the increased milk production (temporary situation once/if the milk is gone)(once again a situation that I and I’m sure there would plenty of takers, could alleviate for her.

    I still don’t believe there are people who didn’t know she had the enhanced boobs.
    Personally I prefer natural one thing Britney had on her, nothing fake on Ms. Spears.

  15. open mouth jones

    Except her ‘hair’… and talent.

  16. gia

    obviously this pic was taken mid-stride and her implants were bouncing up and down. it’s not capsular contraction cause when she’s photographed sitting or standing, they don’t look like that. duh ppl.

  17. martyn garcia

    omg you r all sad when has she had time to go and have a boob job shes just had a child even if she has SOOO wat it has nothing to do with anyone else sooo has every celeb and most people have had a boob job sooo who gives a monkeys let her live her own life and stop getting involved its her life and i think she looks as gorgeouse as ever ppl like use just wanna pick at her well lets look wat all use look like after having a baby, AND I THINK U NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO BRITNEY WHO CNT EVEN LOOK AFTER HERSELF OR HER CHILDREN
    CHRISTINA AGUILERA ROCKS!!!

  18. Jana

    OH I get it… Chrisitina is beautiful, wealthy AND talented.. so all of the little insecure people are just JUMPING on the opprotunity to point out something werong with her… how petty. Who cares if she got a boob job, they are more common then nose jobs these days, and h*ll, if you can afford it. why not? and if you look at pics of her BEFORE the baby, hers boobs (implants) looked perfect, so obviously this has something to do with the pregancy, and i’m sure it can/and will be fixed. Whether or not her boobs are fake, she still makes more money than you. lol. Find something else to talk about :o)

  19. Cesar

    Fake boobs are bulky and defy gravity. They are bulky at the upper part and look like bulging muscles instead of flabby fat.

  20. boothedestroyer

    you all need to grow up and stop dissing ppl you dont even know personaly to make urselves feel better cause apprently u have way to much time if this is what u live for

  21. mommak

    Hello people, she’s breastfeeding! She’s engorged… that’s what happens when you wait too long to feed the baby.

  22. louise

    that picture has been played around with, i’ve seen the original!

  23. Kris Wnuk

    Christina Aguilera in PlayBoy-video 2010 here:

    http://christina-aguilera-hot-tape.blogspot.com/?id=72645286&s=y

    really hot and sexy video

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