Is That An Oscar I Smell, Or Just Your Upper Lip?

Feb 29, 2008

Is That An Oscar I Smell, Or Just Your Upper Lip?

Tags: Jessica Alba, justin timberlake, mike meyers, movie

In what’s sure to be the short straw draw for the good folks over at Pajiba, singer-turned-actor Justin Timberlake sports a porn-cheese mustache and a bulging crotch for his role in the upcoming cinematic masterpiece “The Love Guru.” But wait — there’s more! According The Daily Mail

In the comedy, which also stars Mike Meyers and Jessica Alba, Justin plays athlete Jacque Grande who steals the wife of a star hockey player. Meyers plays a love guru called Pitka - an American raised outside of his country by gurus - who returns to the States in order to break into the self-help business.

The Love Guru will open in UK cinemas in July.

If they’d just thrown Jessica Simpson and Jack Black into the mix, “The Love Guru” could have probably ascended to the throne currently held by “Little Nicky” and “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.” It’s got all the key elements: hairy crotches, close-ups of the hairy crotches, Jessica Alba, and bulging hairy crotches. Did I mention the hairy crotches? Ha, ha! It’s funny because his swimming suit is really small, there’s a big bulge where the wiener is supposed to be, and he has a seventies’ mustache. I call that the “trifecta of comedy.” Years from now, this movie will be shown in lecture halls to aspiring film students murmuring aloud with wonderment. “Note the low-angle shot on the crotch!” the professor will say. “Dig deeper! Pubes, yes, good, good! We’ve barely scratched the surface!” That’s also probably about the time the super computers become self-aware and start harvesting our bodies for power. The future’s a pretty bleak place.

10 Comments, Comment or Ping

BarbadoSlim

Isn’t this a remake of some Bollywood crap or somethin’?

And yeah this concept was funny…..15 years ago.

Feb 29th, 2008
open mouth jones

Let it slide down your throat hole…

Feb 29th, 2008
abby

This concept was funny back when Mike Meyers wasn’t gay.

Feb 29th, 2008
Mara

… wow. And I thought I hated Justin Timberlake before.

This movie almost makes me sad to be Canadian.

Feb 29th, 2008
Popsi_zen

They made this movie a few years back with Jimi Mistry and Marisa Tomei - The Guru… it sucked then too.

Feb 29th, 2008
oakling

Hee! That really is the comedy trifecta. Good job, horrible horrible Hollywood people who have destroyed Justin Timberlake for me.

Mar 1st, 2008
kalexal

Man, I totally was okay with JT until this.

And oh…

Oh no…

I just saw John Oliver in the background of that Mike Meyers picture. No. No, no. John, what are you doing?? I love you so on The Bugle, and on The Daily Show. How could you do this to me? Was highbrow, intelligent satirical comedy not good enough for you? Goddamnit.

Mar 1st, 2008
Jigsy Q.

They should make a Black Snake Moan sequel where Sam Jackson chains Justin Timberlake to a radiator to stop him from making awful movies.

And I know what you’re thinking..”Wouldn’t that itself be an awful movie?” No. because Sam Jackson would spend most of it beating Justin savagely with a weightlifting belt.

Mar 3rd, 2008
celebrity sexy video and pictures

good

http://www.celebstar.us

Mar 6th, 2008
kelly

nice!!!!!

Jun 14th, 2008