Paris Hilton’s Mystery Ring
Tags: benji madden, kim vo, Paris Hilton, ring
There’s a new penis in Paris Hilton’s life, and this one comes attached to her ex-BFF-turned-BFF-again boyfriend’s brother Benji Madden! But how will we know if this love’s for real, you ask? Easy. The ring she’s wearing says it all.
Or maybe it says nothing. Oooh! Page Six says
The celebutante showed up with the new bling for the launch of celebrity stylist Kim Vo’s Salon at The Mirage in Las Vegas. The event’s organizer, Ben Russo… asked the heiress what the BM ring meant, [and] Paris said: “It means what it means.”
Your first instinct is to assume she’s being cryptic about the new penis, but the fact is there’s a whole lot out there that can lay claim to the initials B.M, so I don’t want to go around putting words in the heiress’ mouth. Especially when her mouth is probably already full of wiener to begin with. So I’m just going to make a couple of educated guesses as to the meaning of her mystery ring and let you all decide.
10. Bowel movement. Obviously.
9. Butt munch. Look, I never said this list was sophisticated, asswipe.
8. Boston Massacre. It smells like American Revolution!
7. Ball masticator. Fancy talk for nut-sack gobbler. See #9.
6. Blind Mice, 3. See how they run!
5. Barry Manilow. Because he writes the songs.
4. Branson, Missouri. Come visit the Baldknobber’s Motor Inn!
3. Beaver maggots. We’re talking Paris Hilton here. Self-explanatory.
2. Bacterial Meningitis. Because she’s dirty, and not in a good way.
and the number one thing Paris’ BM ring might possibly stand for:
1. Braying moron. Because she is one.
11 Comments, Comment or Ping
bobloveBrit
I smell like Paris’ twat in the July sunshine.
Mar 10th, 2008
abby
So, like old potato salad left in your car at the company picnic in July?
Mar 10th, 2008
RichPort
I thought her “mystery ring” was technically her exit hole…
Mar 10th, 2008
open mouth jones
Please Rich- what’s so mysterious about a drive through?
Mar 10th, 2008
nordo
carat to IQ ratio?
Mar 10th, 2008
RichPort
Billions and billions served…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, omj…
Mar 10th, 2008
open mouth jones
Zing!
Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week!
Don’t forget to tip your waitress.
Mar 10th, 2008
oakling
Hee. I love the row of pictures of her basically just braying and pretending not to be flashing her ring at the camera. Great punctuation
Mar 10th, 2008
Captain-Insano
My guess is that we’ve all been punk’d again by that genious Ashton Kutcher. Oh, he’s just so darn clever!
Mar 10th, 2008
butch
Good Lord what a douchette. She’s wringing her hands in all the pics to show off that gangsta ring and trying to make it look natural.
Mar 10th, 2008
ac
she is lovely. I’m curious.She wrote blog on a celeb dating site recently named “mixedfriends dot com”. It attacted many fans. Is she feeling lonely?
Mar 10th, 2008
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