Meet Eliot Spitzer’s Whore
Tags: ashley dupré, eliot spitzer, governor, kristen, new york, prostitution, resigned, scandal
Unless you’re deaf and blind and terrified of the television, you’ve been made adequately aware of the prostitution ring scandal in which former New York governor Eliot Spitzer was embroiled this week. I say former New York governor, because as all you non-blind deaf television-phobes know, The Ass Bandit resigned yesterday. God knows the citizens of New York don’t want some jackass willing to drop eighty grand on pussy overseeing the state’s 2008 budget! (”Now, I see the ‘public education’ and ‘labor and workforce development’ allocations here, but where are the funds for the ’super hot pussy?’ Did I miss it?”) Anyway, what we’ve all been wanting to know — who was this mystery hooker “Kristen,” and what the hell could she possibly be doing that costs $4700 a night? Page Six reveals
Her real name is Ashley Alexandra Dupré, and according to her MySpace profile, she loves music and she looks up to her brother. The… 22-year-old singer fled “an abusive home” at the age of 17. In 2004 she arrived in New York City, where she says she spent two years trying to make it in the music biz.
“I have been alone. I have abused drugs. I have been broke and homeless. But, I survived, on my own. I am here, in NY because of my music,” the woman known as “Kristen” says on her MySpace profile. “I can honestly tell you to never dwell on the past, but build from it and keep moving forward,” she writes. She describes her song “What We Want” as being “about trust, something my past has made very difficult for me to feel,” and that it was “inspired by a guy, who taught me not to confuse my dreams with the sounds of the city.”
And just like that, I can guaran-damn-tee this dumb twat’s song will get radio play. After it makes the rounds on the gossip blogs and network television first, of course. Followed by several morning show interviews, a tell-all book, her own makeup and/or clothing line and possible made-for-TV movie. Because all it takes to break into the elite strata of celebritydom in these great United States is to suck off somebody rich or famous and get caught doing it. Even better if you make a tape of yourself doing it so you can sell it online and really saturate the market. Some people might try to tell you that diversifying your funds or investing overseas is the best way to secure your financial future, but I’m here to tell you your ticket to early retirement is actually hidden is some old white dude’s pants. The path to financial freedom is only a zipper away!
Feed the monkey and listen to her shitty song at Page Six or visit her MySpace here.
15 Comments, Comment or Ping
yteta
She is not worth five grand.
Mar 13th, 2008
RichPort
Funny, when I called Emporer’s VIP and asked for Candii. I got the exact same chick, for half the price. And I paid by Western Union.
Mar 13th, 2008
yteta
i just found her on I Suck Dick For Meth dot com.
Mar 13th, 2008
RichPort
yteta, that means you’re under surveillance. Good luck.
Mar 13th, 2008
open mouth jones
I’m sorry but when you want something a WHORE won’t even do for you, you’re a sick puppy. Good riddance to yesterday’s garbage.
By the by, unless her vagina is the goddamn fountain of youth, there is NOTHING she could do that I would pay for. AT ALL.
Mar 13th, 2008
sonya
Can we just ship her off to Iraq and let the jihadists deal with her there?
Mar 13th, 2008
abby
They don’t tolerate whores over in the Gulf of Oman. That’s why I’ve never visited.
Mar 13th, 2008
nordo
Send Spitzer to Iraq, he’s the only whore in this case.
Mar 13th, 2008
yteta
Please email me here:
aasevgniugh@yahoo.com
Mar 13th, 2008
Perv
Hey I’d hit it. 3 times! Awesome body and I challenge any male to honestly think otherwise. She probably DOES have more friends than Tom at this point….
Mar 14th, 2008
WHOSYERDADDY
I wonder if she spitzer swallows? This little Silicone bimbo is kinda cute but not worth 4300 bucks an hour. pretty sad people have to pay that kind of coin for some used up coochie. not to mention what kind of STD`S She may have had. I sure hope Silda doesn`t end up with some mouth sores that won`t go away EWWWWWWWWW.Well Elliot i hopeyour proud of yourself and at the very least got to sample this little tart`s every orifice.
Mar 14th, 2008
Fillup
What a SKANK, even at free!
Mar 14th, 2008
dfdfer
is she single now? I wonder why she posted profile on the celeb dating site SearchingM illionaire.c o m.
Mar 14th, 2008
MBA Nixon
OK, maybe her singing isn’t that great, but she has high moral standards, right?
Mar 15th, 2008
woah
is her fishy vagina made of gold or something?, have diamonds in it?, why is this whore worth so much?…I can only imagine how proud her parents are.
Mar 15th, 2008
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