Welcome to the Jungle

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Rumors are surfacing again that actress Lindsay Lohan has effectively spent herself broke, wasting over $300 grand on rehab and close to $1 million on hotel stays in the last year alone. And then, of course, there’s the essentials — MSNBC says

She spent a mind-boggling $70,000 alone on [tanning].

But don’t worry! Lindsay has a plan to get her out of the red (Editor’s Note: hee hee!) — her own line of leggings.

Lohan told Life & Style, “It will be a while before it comes out, but I’m going to do it. Some of them will have prints and some will have patterns. I love leggings.”

Then she added, “It’s too bad The Emperor’s Club got shut down this week, or I could have really made some money doing something I loved. Mostly in the butt. I loves me some wiener in the butt. But leggings are okay, too, I guess, if nobody wants to pay me to take it in the butt.” You know, I always believed Lindsay’s asshole could be a real money maker, but it’s really all about timing with these things. The anal markets can be so fickle. That’s mainly why I invest overseas.

Axl at the airport yesterday:

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10 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Yeah, I’ll spend my hard earned money (it’s a foreign concept for this talentless hack, I know) to wear her leggings. A look that died and should have stayed dead in the 80’s. And if she spent $70k on fucking tanning, then you’d think she’d be able to avoid getting it on her grubby fat hands or get some on her mysteriously white cankles.

    Double-chinned, vapid, fat thighed, hacky, uneducated WHORE. Die a slow and painful (print or patterned) death.

  2. N-n-n-n-n-n-NEEEEE! NEEE!

  3. Leggings, in her case worn over her head, like a skanky Easter bunny.

  4. She should fuck a governor… she’d make a cool $100K a month.

  5. “I used to love her, but I had to kill her”

  6. sonya, are you saying she needs a shrubbery?

  7. On one hand, I want to say that the money she spent on rehab was obviously pretty important. On the other hand, people in AA are always telling me that rehab is just like spending $10,000 for an AA Big Book - and she’s up to 30 times that now. Just work the steps, Lindsay!

  8. Good guess bunny, but I was imitating Axl Rose. Doesn’t really translate into type as well as it does in my head. O wells.

  9. Send me hate email here:

    aaseffvndiugh@yahoo.com

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