The above footage of a coked-out-of-his-gourd “Jackass” star Steve-O twittering and twitching like Beavis with Tourette’s made its way online Friday, shortly after it was reported that he had been hospitalized after threatening to take his own life. In the five and a half minute rant, Steve-O compulsively scratches his head and spits while delving into the dissension in the Middle East and a little non-Euclidean space-time theory. Good stuff. All he needs is a diaper and a good “The End is Near” beard and he could be that guy that sleeps under my Nana’s stoop and eats garbage and the occasional dead pigeon. Of course, the real diaper man has too much dignity to cover his back with an enormous tattoo portrait of himself giving the thumbs up. Not so much dignity that he won’t take a dump on a bus stop bench in the middle of the afternoon, but still. We’re not even talking the same league here.

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