Shut Your Stupid Cakehole Already
Tags: eva longoria, portrait
If you have a birthday coming up, I have the perfect thing to make your soiree a success: a cake made in your own conceited likeness! Like the vanilla rum flavored portrait made for Eva Longoria’s 33rd birthday. Star Magazine says
A baker and an artist [from Edda's Cake Designs] worked on the cake for three hours using a photo supplied by Eva’s camp as inspiration.
You know, it might have been a little simpler for Eva to rent a booth with one of those plywood cut-out holes they used to have at old-timey fairs. Then she could just stick her ass through the hole and let all the guests line up and take turns kissing it. Of course, there’d have to be a mirror inside the booth, too, so she’d never have to take her eyes off herself during the gratuitous ass-kissing. Hmmm… maybe it’s a little more complicated than I realized. Well, you can’t go wrong with good old-fashioned kick in the puss and a “I hope you die in a fire, you stupid cooze!” bellowed out of a megaphone. I know it definitely made my grandmother’s 80th birthday an affair to remember.
7 Comments, Comment or Ping
nordo
A mirror would’ve done it too, or just a twinkie
Mar 18th, 2008
oakling
I love that it is vanilla rum. Even her cake is boozy and strange….
Mar 18th, 2008
ac
Sexy. I want to eat the left nostril.
Mar 18th, 2008
ac
lol/ She is really sexy!!! I have ever seen her hot video at mixedfriends.com which is a niche interracial dating site for all singles. She is really sexy with bikini in that video. You will know how passionate interracial kiss it is after seening it
Mar 19th, 2008
RebelBoy
I’m gettin sick of looking at this Negro Suckin’ BITCH!
Mar 19th, 2008
RichPort
I’d like to take a crap on that cake then start a food fight.
Mar 19th, 2008
Dianne Lame
So what if she’s dating a black man RebelBoy. Your name suits you little boy. I thought she did an awesome job on the show. Team Eva!!!
Mar 20th, 2008
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