Demi Moore’s Leech Therapy
Tags: david letterman, demi moore, leech therapy, leeches
Demi Moore was on The Late Show with David Letterman last night promoting her new movie “Flawless,” but the bulk of the interview was spent talking about how she’s started detoxifying herself with leeches. That’s right — bloodletting. Just like in ancient times! She says
These aren’t just swamp leeches. We are talking about highly trained medical leeches… high level blood suckers. They have a little enzyme that… gets released in your blood and generally you bleed for quite a bit and your health is optimized. It detoxifies your blood. I did it in some woman’s house laying on her bed. We did a little sampler first, which is in the belly button. It crawls in and you feel it bite down on you and you want to go, ‘You bastard.’ Then you relax and work on your Lamaze breathing just to kind of relax. You watch it swell up on your blood, get fatter and fatter, then when it’s super-drunk on your blood, it just kind of rolls over like it is stumbling out of the bar.”
And her secret cure for unsightly breakouts and blemishes? A thorough application of egg whites, one barelycorn of treacle and shaving the sign of the cross on your scalp during the vernal equinox. For more beauty tips like these, check out Dioscorides’ “De Materia Medica.” At a medieval library near you!
Arriving at The Late Show:
10 Comments, Comment or Ping
open mouth jones
How exactly does one ‘train’ a leech? Aren’t they just glorified worms?
And if bleeding is so fucking healthy, why do I always feel so shitty when I get my period?
Mar 25th, 2008
nordo
As soon as I renew my medieval library card and have my chastity belt wd-40′d I will check it all out.
Mar 25th, 2008
sonya
Thanks, now I can go and puke.
Mar 25th, 2008
jerryol
‘Jerryol” sounds like a vitamin designed for senior citizens. Jerryol — Now With Twice the Calcium of Centrum Silver!
Mar 25th, 2008
oakling
HIGHLY TRAINED MEDICAL LEECHES?
Slugs with M.Ds?!?
This proves she’s a Scientologist, right?
Mar 25th, 2008
Msrtd
Also “Msrtd” can stand for “Mrs. Turd.” You can feel free to call me that, too.
Mar 25th, 2008
Jigsy Q.
She loves leeches so much she married one!
Mar 26th, 2008
Linda
OMFG! I can NOT eat my breakfast after reading this - that is DISGUSTING!!!!
She is absolutely NUTS! Why is it we always read of the celebs doing this wacko stuff??? Are they that dumb?? DISGUSTING!!!!!
By the way, I don’t think Demi looks so great, and she DOES look her age. She was much prettier when she was younger and didn’t have all that facial work. She has a very “hard” look to her face.
Mar 26th, 2008
PleaseTrimYourNoseHairs!
Another celebrity who has so much $$$ she doesn’t know what to do with it. Demi does look great, but this is overkill!!
Mar 26th, 2008
bionic bunny
sit, ubu, sit!
i wanna know what happens when one of those little suckers doesn’t just “roll over and fall off” (thanks, ash, honey, that was great). ever made a water balloon filled with karo syrup and red food coloring?
yes, i am on a mean streak today, thanks for asking. ;D
Mar 26th, 2008
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