Paris Hilton Can’t Dance

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Although this may shock and surprise you, it turns out they have television in Turkey! Indoor plumbing and a handle on the bird flu not so much, but television, yes. Here’s the proof: a video of Paris Hilton at at Miss Turkey 2008 contest on channel Kanal 1! Hoş geldiniz! The Daily Mail says

The Simple Life star appeared as a guest on [the televised Miss Turkey 2008] beauty contest while in the capital Istanbul. She performed with belly dancer Asena during the show. She had all eyes on her for the performance and upstaged the real belly dancer with her stunning, leg-baring outfit.

I don’t know what type of Turkish hashish the folks at the Daily Mail were smoking, but Paris didn’t upstage anybody. She was obviously uncomfortable up there without a pole and a bunch of drunk guys waving singles. Good thing she had Le Tigre and Blue Steel to fall back on. Paris Hilton — she’s so hot right now!

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10 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. nordo

    The Pink Turkey visits her mother country.

  2. RichPort

    She dances like a typical white chick.

  3. open mouth jones

    Is anybody else thinking Elaine from Seinfeld?
    Add a few thumb jerks, and it’s a spitting image.

  4. abby

    It’s like a full-body dry heave set to music.

  5. sonya

    The only thing hot about Paris is the burning itch in her crotch.

  6. Jesus, what a bunch of idiots at the Daily Mail - Istanbul is not the capital of Turkey, duh. That’s like saying New York is the capital of the United States.

    And Abby, we do have indoor plumbing, but I’d hesitate to call the trash programming here television, because that word implies some entertainment value. Thank god for satellite.

  7. Captain-Insano

    Ugh. I hate her ALOT, but watching that still made me embarassed for her.

  8. abby

    Duly noted, Melissa. Thanks for taking it on the chin. Much like Paris Hilton, only without as much semen.

  9. yousee

    Paris is a hot b*tch. Or is it butch. My english not so good. How you say ‘tranny she male with penis attached still?’

  10. Jigsy Q.

    So apparently dancing to her means posing very aggressively. The Turks have a word for this kind of thing–boq.

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