Dr. Phil Is The Devil
Tags: dr. phil, mercades nichols, myspace
Dr. Phil officially pledged his eternal soul to Satan this weekend after sending a production assistant to Florida to bail out the ringleader of a group of six girls who beat a classmate for an hour and then posted the video footage on YouTube. Dr. Phil & Company ponied up a whopping thirty grand to the Polk County Sheriff’s office for exclusive rights to Mercades Nichols, who is currently staring down kidnapping, battery and witness tampering charges. By the way, the girl beaten unconscious in the video was hospitalized for a concussion, damage to her left eye, and partial loss of hearing in her left ear. Can you smell the ratings from here? Of course, now that the media’s gotten a hold of it, Dr. Phil doesn’t want any credit for it. MSNBC reports
The “Dr. Phil” show issued a statement saying “certain staff members went beyond our guidelines (re: the bail being paid),” but a source close to the production fears that this incident could be the final straw for the show.
“It’s getting desperate behind the scenes. Dr. Phil is so demanding, and there’s a feeling anyone will do anything for the get,” said a source. “People don’t trust him like they used to. The… incident [is] beyond embarrassing for the entire show. How do you bounce back from this?”
You don’t “bounce back.” You draw the symbol of Baphomet in the dirt, drink the blood of a virgin and recite the Enochian chants during a full moon on Walpurgisnacht. Really, it’s the only shot he’s got.
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
fdanile
he looks familiar. oh, yeah, i beat him in a fiddle competition in georgia.
Apr 14th, 2008
adeline
You can’t put a rattlesnake on a roller coaster but that don’t mean he’s gonna bake you a cake blink blonk blink.
Apr 14th, 2008
abby
No mad props for my PhotoShop deviltry? That took me, like, twenty minutes.
Apr 14th, 2008
Manny
Mad, sick, supah dope props on the Photoshop work, Abby. The best I could do wouold be to make him all warpy.
Apr 14th, 2008
open mouth jones
I like the work you did on his eyes especially. I can almost smell the brimstone cologne.
Apr 14th, 2008
jbrader
Hey this would have been a great post except for the talking add on your fucking page what’s up with that shit?
Apr 14th, 2008
nordo
The devil would be soooo dissed
Apr 14th, 2008
abby
Thank you. My mastery of Microsoft Paint is complete!
Apr 14th, 2008
unnamed
Someone saw his profile with some photos on m y i n t e r r a c i a l m a t c h . c o m , where celebrities and wealthy singles hook up. He feels lonely, doesn’t he?
Apr 14th, 2008
MalfunctioningMartha
Yes, unnamed, I’ve always imagined Satan as being quite lonely.
Apr 14th, 2008
Shakazulah
MAD MICROSOFT PAINTS SKILLS, YO! :p
I heard a couple times from different people that Oprah is distancing herself from him. Smart move.
I just cant believe so soon after that Brittany Spears crap he pulled he would do essentially the same thing.
What is it with Dr. Phil and redneck white girls……..
And you know what? If I picked any of them to interview it would be the one shown in that 3 mins. snip-it on the news punching her on the couch, Brittini Hardcastle.
We should have the whole 30 min. tape made public so we can actually judge more than 3 mins. worth.
F U Dr. Phil. pervert!
Apr 23rd, 2008
ceejay1968
As a Louisiana girl, could I politely ask you not to call Britney Spears a “redneck?” Thanks.
Apr 27th, 2008
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