Pink Has New Bikini, New Man

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You know the feeling you got when you you were forced to hug the middle-aged accounting partner of your father’s staggering around in a giant diaper and bonnet at 1986’s New Year’s Eve party? The feeling that compelled you to spend two hours in a scalding hot shower with a Bible and a Brillo pad in the fetal position? Well, relive your seven-year old nightmare all over again with these pictures of Pink in a polka-dot bikini and sun hat in Malibu over the weekend. It’s a disturbing melange of Anne Geddes and biker bar, Gerber and Jack Daniels, Huggies and Astroglide-primed anal fisting. I don’t know whether to find it a binky or light its cigar. It’s probably best to just throw rocks at it and wait until it stops moving before you get any closer.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The ass crack above belongs to Todd Morse of Juliette Lewis’ rock band non-fame and is clearly not a threat to Pink’s masculinity or melatonin production.

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10 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Are those bows on her thighs? So, what? You untie them and her penis drops down?

  2. Anybody else hear that song “Detachable Penis” a few years ago? That’s all that goes through my head when I see this chick…
    I’m sure Pink has this happen to her all the time:

    “But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
    and the next morning I can’t for the life of me
    remember what I did with it.”

  3. He and pink have the same size chest AND the same sized dick.

  4. Yet another present you can’t regift…

  5. Those bows will look great when she’s sixty. As will the dragon tattoo on the thigh.

  6. Maybe she thinks her stuff is a gift…eeewwww

  7. Jonesy, that song always cracks me up when I hear it.

  8. high five, sonya!

  9. Why he posted his personal ads on m y i n t e r r a c i a l m a t c h . c o m. ????? It seems that they have emotional issues.

  10. p!nk,is great!!and the people,talk bullshit!!always….because they are nothing to do!so…fuck off!everyone,,..pink is the best!!!

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