Dr. Phil shovels $2.4 million into his tax free charitable foundation, but only distributes $450,000 of it. How’s that workin’ for ya, dickhead? (Jossip)

Paris says Kim Kardashian’s ass is like “a garbage bag full of cellulite” in a radio interview. (CelebSmack)

Go, Speed Racer, go — in my pants! (Websters)

Actual lyrics from Pearl Jam’s Evenflow: “Sittin’ butt naked on a porcupine made of concrete, yeee-ahh!” Unintentional plug for my site and quill-covered rodent nudity all in one glorious song! (Pajiba)

The Brangelina clan gets ice cream and soda pop for breakfast. Better than booze and tobacco, I always say! (Hollywood Rag)

Carrie Underwood gets a leg up at the CMA’s last night. (Popoholic)

Britney Spears photographed with her child behind the wheel — again! (CityRag)

Cate Blanchett may have discovered the worst baby name of all time. (Hollywood Headache)

So it’s testosterone’s fault the economy’s fucked up! I figured there was a wiener involved somewhere along the line! (Jezebel)