He Can Dere-lick His Own Balls Now
Tags: Kate Hudson, Owen Wilson, split, vince vaughn
Just two months after having rekindled their relationship, Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson have broken up. Insiders credit the split to Kate’s not being down with Owen having threesomes with Vince Vaughn, while Vince Vaughn credits the split to Kate being such a “ball and fucking chain, bro.” According to People Magazine
Wilson [had] been spotted letting loose… on May 11, [when he] dropped by N.Y.C.’s Upstairs with two women. The late-night outing was followed by a visit to Butter the next night, where he chatted up a sexy blonde.
Says a Hudson source: “She feels dumb thinking it was so serious.”
Well, nothing says “seriously repentant” like another suicide attempt. It worked before, right? This time he should go with a little more gusto, like deep throating a shotgun. Something that will leave a disfiguring scar, so that every time she opens her mouth to bitch about those harmless little orgies, she’ll be staring down a grotesque visual reminder of how much he really loves her. Sorta like Van Gogh, only with way less balls and Kolmogorovian turbulence.
Most beautiful in last month’s People:
5 Comments, Comment or Ping
nordo
Who gets custody of the hair products?
May 16th, 2008
abby
I’m pretty sure the spawn of these two would be an actual douche. Tubing and all. One of those “mystery of science” things you’d see on the Discovery Channel.
May 16th, 2008
open mouth jones
somebody keep an eye on the silver ware.
May 16th, 2008
Tee-Hee
I knew someone would make a Zoolander joke out of this story…Abby, you never disappoint me. :o)
May 16th, 2008
lucy
Who are you tryin’ to get crazy with, ese? Don’t you know I’m loco?
May 16th, 2008
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