George Clooney Dumps Sarah Larson

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Pull out your push-ups, ladies — George Clooney is single again! People Magazine reports

George Clooney and his girlfriend Sarah Larson have split up after a year of dating. Though there was speculation that Clooney would end his longtime bachelorhood, in March the actor shot down rumors of an engagement.

Well, it’s like they say — “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Especially when there’s a whole dairy farm full of nubile young cows with big fake udders who’ll let you tag team with your best buddy anytime you want. That doesn’t fly in all fifty states, of course, but you’re cool if you stick with Arkansas and West Virginia. That’s why they call those states “The Velvet Underground,” if you know what I mean. Wink, wink.

Check out George’s new fake teeth after the jump

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4 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE

    Money well spent on the chiclets.

  2. abby

    I guess it’s cheaper than getting dentures a couple years down the road.

  3. MBA Nixon

    George Washington dumped Martha under similar circumstances.

  4. ridesally

    He looks worse with mass production veneer teeth. they are like the press on nails vs. the bast manicure in the world. \
    YUK

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