Lily Allen Gets Drunk At The Glamour Awards

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I take a great deal of pride in the fact that I have never once knowingly listened to a Lily Allen song. I have also never watched an episode of “The Hills” or “Gossip Girl” or any of Season 7 of “American Idol.” I read recently that exposing yourself to too much crap can make you get fat, and if there’s one thing a girl can’t be, it’s fat. Or ugly. Case in point: 23-year-old “singer” (like I said, I can’t confirm that) Lily Allen had to be lugged out of the Glamour Women of the Year Awards in London last night, where she cleverly used her Editor’s Special Award to hide her face from the paparazzi, without considering the bright pink hair and the decapitated Bambi print dress and the teal shoes might give her away anyway. The Daily Mail says

Bleary-eyed and most definitely worse for wear, the newly pink-haired singer covered her face with her very own Glamour gong as a security guard put her in to a car. Lily, who teamed her freshly coloured tresses with a prom dress decorated with prints of a bleeding Bambi, had [to be propped up] as she struggled to keep her balance.

Like my dad once said, “Nobody likes fat chicks.” He also used to say, “Better hope Santy Claus brings you a treadmill” and “What are you, some kind of lesbian?” I think Lily could have really learned a lot from my father.

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7 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Hello snarky people! There was a problem with the commenting system this morning, but it’s fixed now ;)

  2. abby

    Come to me, buttheads…

  3. Gweilo

    I’ll bet she woke up with some unpleasant stains on that frock.

  4. bionic bunny

    yay! it’s super phil and abby!!

    i have no idea what i’m talking about. somebody just pass the bong already.

  5. leah

    omfg

    lily allen is a freakin idiot

    1. she cant sing
    2. she cant drink
    3. she cant even pick out an outfit without look like a total MORON and cmon whats with the hair

    heres some advice lily, stop tring to be cool and be your self not some hoe who gets drunk moments before geting an award and humiliates the shit out of herself

    or go on looking, acting, & singing (if thats what you wanna call it) like a fricking LOSER oh oh maybe next you can get that tattoo ed on you forehead lol NOT although i wouldnt put it past her .

  6. leah

    omfg

    lily allen is a freakin idiot

    1. she cant sing
    2. she cant drink
    3. she cant even pick out an outfit without look like a total MORON and cmon whats with the hair

    heres some advice lily, stop tring to be cool and be your self not some hoe who gets drunk moments before geting an award and humiliates the crap out of herself

    or go on looking, acting, & singing (if thats what you wanna call it) like a fricking LOSER oh oh maybe next you can get that tattoo ed on you forehead lol NOT although i wouldnt put it past her .

  7. Sprmcandy

    Sweet girl.

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