Jun 9, 2008

Hayden Panettiere Pretends She’s Bisexual

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“Heroes” star Hayden Panettiere is front and center on the cover of the June issue of Glamour U.K., opening up on what it’s like to be a little person in a big world and pretending to be bisexual because nobody gives a rat’s ass about her. Hayden says

“It’s great to be single. It’s great to have boyfriends. Or girlfriends. There are occasions when you kiss your best friend growing up, having fun and goofing about. Like perfecting your technique.”

I don’t know why Hayden thinks that her sexuality is so elemental to her self-worth. She’s so much more than that. If only she could look inward and draw strength from the proud heritage of her people, like she did at the Battle for Helms Deep. “Let them come! There is one Dwarf yet in Moria who still draws breath!” Still her finest bearded role to date.

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5 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. sonya

    Lookit me, I’m shocking!

    Jun 9th, 2008

  2. A

    Whatever I like her. And after reading the scans she doesn’t say the part about perfecting your technique the interviewer says it.

    Jun 9th, 2008

  3. abby

    But did you like the beard? That’s the real question, Sunshine.

    Jun 9th, 2008

  4. Vermillion

    Actually, it kept giving me friction burns whenever we did the sit-n-spin.

    Seriously though, she is kinda cool. And totally nailable.

    Jun 9th, 2008

  5. nordo

    Fuggo McStump is such an annoying little tard, isn’t she?

    Jun 10th, 2008

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