Amy Winehouse Has Tuberculosis

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After being hospitalized for fainting earlier this week, doctors discovered that Amy Winehouse has “a raging chest infection” and has been coughing up blood for some time — all common symptoms of the infectious disease tuberculosis. Although usually confined to third world countries and, oh, 1892, “the consumption” can also be contracted by sharing dirty needles. A friend of Amy’s told The Sun

“Amy is in a bad way. She’d been been suffering horrible coughing fits and hurling up blood for a while but refused to be examined. Doctors now believe it is tuberculosis and are doing more tests to be certain.”

Of course, doctors now know that TB isn’t caused by victims being transformed into horses by witches to travel to their nightly meetings or by chronic masturbation, so Amy ought to be just fine.

TB at its most radiant:

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7 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. open mouth jones

    abby: The only blogger to break out the word consumption.

    That gets you 10 extra cool points.

  2. abby

    Thank you. I also once used “the dropsy.” That’s like 15, easy.

  3. open mouth jones

    Maybe she’s got the scurvy, she does look rather malnourished, you know.
    Probably not, but I like the word. SCUUUUURVY, as in: “Hoist the sails, you scurvy bastards!” Or in Winehouse’s case: “Put a shirt on you scurvy cunt!”

  4. sonya

    Can we call her Lunger?

  5. nordo

    3 bags of hay and some carrots oughta do it

  6. sc

    TB is NOT contracted by sharing dirty needles. You are confused with other kind of diseases…

  7. abby

    Actually, certain strands of the mycobacteria can be passed via needles. Thanks, though!

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