“Hellboy II’s” Selma Blair stepped out of her Manhattan hotel yesterday afternoon in a see-through shirt and no bra. Just how someone whose claim to fame is Hellboy doesn’t hide her face in shame and sneak out a service entrance every time she ventures into public is beyond me. I’m guessing the nipples were supposed to be the distraction, so the masses didn’t start hurling tomatoes and hissing the second she stepped out the door. Unfortunately, boobs that tiny only buy you like thirty seconds, a minute tops. That’s why it’s always find a busty passerby and rip off her shirt and use her as a human shield. Then you’ve got like another four or five minutes before the cops show up. Explosive ninja powders like Batman’s would really come in handy here, but if you’re fresh out of nitrocellulose, you can always use a loaded gun to wipe the vomit off your face and scream “How am I gonna get a girl? I drive around in a garbage truck!” Believe me, if there’s one thing that really drives the masses away, it’s those Hellboy quotes. Trust.

On the Tonight Show July 8th:

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