Don’t let’s forget that Christian Bale is still the reason for the season. Plus, he’s not dead. Definitely some points there. (Websters)

Sarah Jessica gets the witch’s mark on her chin zapped. (Ninja Dude)

Katie Holmes with a Dorothy Zbornak hairdo. (Ayyy!)

Heidi Montag to collaborate with Britney Spears for a musical version of diarrhea. (Hollyscoop)

Madonna wants to reunite Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears on stage! I’m guessing Cheetos and chest wax will be used as bait. (Holy Moly!)

How would Vanessa Hudgens look in a bikini with a beard? Now you know. (Egotastic)

Alyssa Milano is giving up baseball bats for good. (CelebNewsWire)

Tater Tits goes to the dogs. (Allie is Wired)

Oprah Winfrey cheats on Stedman! (popbytes)

Nobody cares about Keira Knightley or elephants wearing Louis Vuitton. Pachydermacists! (MollyGood)

Family Guy’s Seth McFarlane is tappin’ some barely legal Amanda Bynes ass! (CelebSlam)

Ozzy Osbourne wants you to see him in his panties. (Tasteful Celebs)

Gary Busey life lesson #463: how not to be a stupid, misfortunate placenta. (College Candy)