With the success of recent movie sequels like Indiana Jones and Rocky, Hollywood execs have decided to shit all over one of the most iconic movies of the 1980’s — Top Gun. According to The Sun

Movie bosses want to bring back cocky fighter-pilot trainee Maverick 22 years after the first film. A script outline has been written, but the sequel depends on Cruise, 46, saying yes.

An insider said: “The idea is Maverick is at the Top Gun school as an instructor — and this time it is he who has to deal with a cocky new female pilot.”

It wouldn’t work, primarily because the Maverick version of Tom Cruise is long gone. Instead you have this Scientology-obsessed, socially inept little weirdo whose approval rating ranks right below George W. Bush’s and Hilter’s. People don’t want to see his movies anymore. And frankly, Kenny Loggins isn’t the musical powerhouse he was in the 80’s. But all that aside, the fate of a sequel usually rests in its title. I took the liberty of splicing a couple together for you. I present:

TOP TEN “TOP GUN” POTENTIAL SEQUEL TITLES

10. Top Gun Part Deux: Resurrection

9. Top Gun II: In Dark Territory

8. Big Top Pete Mitchell

7. Top Gun II: Back 2 Tha’ Hood

6. Book of Shadows: Top Gun 2

5. Son of Maverick

4. Top Gun II: Havana Nights

3. Look Who’s Flying Now

2. Top Gun Reloaded

and the number one Top Gun potential movie sequel title:

1. Top Gun II: “Cruise” Control

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