Here’s singer/musician James Blunt frolicking near his home in Ibiza with two hot chicks playing “Where’s the Nipple?” and “Doggy Style, but with Vaginas!“¹ In case you didn’t know, Blunt was also a Captain in the British Army — the first armored reconnaissance officer to enter the Kosovar capital during the 1999 NATO deployment. He also captained the Household Cavalry Alpine Ski Team and was the champion skier of the entire Royal Armoured Corps. So while you’re busy changing the toner and stapling together your TPS reports, James Blunt is busy being a military hero/champion skier batting away quality kitty on his boat in the middle of the Med. I guess what I’m trying to say is, if James Blunt were any better than you, you’d be dead. On the plus side, at least your last named doesn’t rhyme with “cunt,” so you got that going for you. Dream big, loser!

¹_{Which, incidentally, make great parlour games if you’ve already exhausted The Minister’s Cat and Lookabout}