Hold on to your breakfast, boys and girls — there’s a Madonna and Alex Rodriguez sex tape out there, just waiting to be unleashed on the unsuspecting public by the highest bidder. According to the Daily Star

[The man responsible for the video] is demanding a fortune for the footage he claims was shot with a hidden camera in an apartment used by the pair for secret afternoon trysts. The video man claimed he secretly installed a hidden camera in the living room with the lens pointed at the sofa.

Last night Madonna’s lawyers said they were “aware” of the lensman’s claims but were not commenting.

Ooh, that ought to be hot. A half hour of him spotting her while she bench presses her weight in human souls. No thanks.

NSFW Madonna in her Sex book because the video footage isn’t available yet:

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